Creating my fantastic future

So Here We Go

2009-11-08T16:26:00.000-08:00

Welcome back. I guess the first place to start is to set out a few goals that I wish to accomplish. So first things first.

Raise $3000 by February 28th 2010.
Fit into size 12 jeans again by December 2010.
Get Bostons nursery done by January 31st 2010.

So, do you think I can do it? Too bad if you don't because I will haha. I'll keep updating my goals and setting new mini ones as time goes on. You can watch my progress and I'd love some support. I won't be connecting this blog to my facebook like my art one. This one's just a little too personal for that, so I suggest you add it to your favourites or subscribe to the feeds and you can check in for regular updates and cheer me on...because there will be times I need it.

It will be nice to have my mind back in the headspace it used to be. I'm still a positive person, always have been, always will be but when I did this the last time, my mind was on another level I swear. I'd love it if you'd join me and create your own goals. Send me some positive vibes and let me know your triumphs. Good luck! Let's do it.

Oh My Goodness

2009-11-08T03:50:00.000-08:00

How long has it been my old friends?! This is the blog that started it all. The place I wrote out all the details of my struggles and triumphs. I miss that. I keep my art blog over HERE but I never get as intimate as I did on this one.

I'm deciding that I need this blog in my life. Why? Because I just had a baby. I just lost the use of 1/2 my body due to a torn ligament in my pelvis and I need somewhere I can write the intimate details of my struggles again. So here's a quick rundown on what's happened since my last update.

I ended up losing 50kg. I started kickboxing which I loved and fit into size 12 jackets /14 jeans. Guess I can't lose the chunky thighs haha.
I got pregnant with baby number four and basically could do NOTHING for 10 months. I bled for 5 weeks and was on bedrest. My morning sickness never ever stopped. Everybody thought I was having twins because I got so huge and it turns out I had a just under 12lb baby. That explains the twins thing.
I gained weight! I did NOT want to do that but pregnancy hates me. It just does. Doesn't matter because I hate it too and we never have to cross paths again.
We moved house. In a previous post you'll read about what I wanted in a house. I got almost everything but the 2 living areas and gym, although that's easily changed. We now have a 4 bedroom 2 bathroom plus sleepout room/studio.
We had a baby boy, his name is Boston and he has Blue eyes?!
We haven't been to church in a very long time. Not sure if I care.
I'm doing well as an artist. I just enjoy what I do.
My kids are now 7,6,3 and 3months.
I've seen my family a whole lot. Bliss.
We doubled our income and I'm still home with the kids.

So now, here's why I'm resurrecting this blog.

I NEED to remember how well thinking positive thoughts can work. I have new goals and I want to share my progress. Also, having just read over this blog, I LOVE having a record of my life.

If you like the blog, then bookmark it. I think there's an RSS feed on it. I'll update it so it's easier to follow.

So yeah, that's it for now! Tune in again to hear my innermost thoughts and tales. Feel free to leave a message and share your stories too.

WOW It's been a while!

2008-01-30T18:13:00.000-08:00

My gosh it has been a while since I posted a blog on here. Well, Christmas and 2007 have been and gone and I'm proud of what I accomplished. I nearly reached my 3 goals. I blew the first one out of the water and raised $3000 pretty smartly. Then we werent only in a position to buy a new house by december we had been living in it since October having been ready from about July and buying a house in August. Then with the weightloss I didn't quite make the size 12 but I made size 14 jeans while on holiday in Auckland..... having gained 6kg while there, yikes. One size off isn't too bad although yes, I do wish I had made the 12s. Our trip was just amazing. Seeing everyone, going to the different places. It was all wonderful.

Now we're back home and back into everything again. We're currently in the process of setting up some companys and trusts to make sure everything is legal and keeping us safe. We're all also back at the gym. Well should I say, I'm back at the gym and my husband has also joined up. My brother went with me last night for a workout too. It's really great. I've dropped two of those 6kg I gained on holiday, heres hoping I can do more and blow my size 12 goal out of the water this year. One of my best friends is getting married in March and I'm headed bacl to Auckland to see it happen. Thats very exciting. I'm also trying to take part in as many exhibitions as I can this year. That means a lot of time online hunting these things down! I can do it though. I know I can become an 'Artist'. Speaking of which, I've created another blog. This time its for my Art.

http://www.chavahkinloch.blogspot.com/

Track my works there. You can also email me to purchase anything. Or just post up a comment.

I'll keep this blog going with new goals, new successes, more adventures in creating my fantastic future. Welcome to 2008!

Adventures of a Stay-at-Home Mum

2007-09-03T16:28:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was super busy again. I loved it though. Got to hang out with some new friends in the morning, got in some walking as it was a nice day so we did the school/kindy run on foot. Had a bank appointment, the guy after some sketches popped his head in (he works there too) to give me some websites to help out with images for the sketches.

My baby screamed the entire time we were there so it was interesting. We let him out of the office...well the office had no doors so I let him wander around the outside of it and then he tried to take off outside into the carpark. I leaped up out of my seat and the office and found myself sprinting across this quiet, stale bank to catch a baby before he headed out the doors to get run over. That was probably their entertainment for the day.

From there it was home to collect our girl from school, clean the house and cook dinner. Then it was time for my first kickboxing class. THAT was fun. I may be suffering from bruises on my knuckles and sure, you can see blood lying under the skin between my front knuckles of both hands but I'm in Heaven. Random parts of my body are also bruised from volunteering to be the tutors prop. But at least now I know some pretty decent pressure points and how to break someones wrist. Told you it was fun. Where else are you allowed to scream and punch things...legally. So much fun, I can't wait till next week.

Then it was a rush home in the pouring rain for an interview I had to do for a local magazine. That was a little scary but went pretty well I think. I guess we'll soon see. It's still strange to be spoken to as an 'Artist'. I'm so used to being a stay at home mum where I never have to deal with stuff like that. I remember at Chirstmas someone stole some stuff from us and I had to go to the police station for fingerprinting. I loved that too because it was so different to my daily routine. I didn't care that anything got stolen, it was fun to have to get my fingerprints taken in some cold dark room out the back of a police station. Adeventures of a Stay-At-Home-Mum huh..

Cool Stuff

2007-09-03T16:27:00.002-07:00

Today has been super busy. I woke up knowing it would be that way but was confident I could make it through wearing a smile anyway. The morning and afternoon were filled with normal housewifey things, friends, gardening, children, cleaning, shopping, errands, cooking and baking etc. The phone started ringing at 8 this morning and didn't stop until 8 tonight after I got off the phone with my Mum. She wanted me to find her a cheap flight (airnz does have a free phoneline but oh well) and she wanted to pass on the recipe for chop suey. Turns out she forgot to check which child texted to ask for the recipe though because I've been able to cook it since I was a tennager and passed the skill onto my white hubby who makes the best damn chop suey I've ever tasted. It was nice to talk to her anyway.

I'm not done with the things I have to get through, I still have paintings to prep and wrap, websites to update and figures to sort but I'm thinking I'll just put that off until tomorrow now.Some cool stuff though. A few blogs back I mentioned that Andrew and I basically told the bank how much money we wanted and why they should lend it to us. The guy we did our little speel to took our figures and showed them to his people. To everyones surprise the figures were accepted. He came over tonight (updating life insurance stuff) and was really excited to share some news. He said that our mortgage application is now being used as a template throughout the nation as a better way to structure mortgage applications and since we met about 3 weeks ago we have helped 3 new familes get into a home of their own. Awesome huh? Hows that for some cool news.

This same guy also raises and races dogs. You know those wolf looking dogs that pull sleighs/scooters. Yeah those. He brought over some loose sketches for me to look at and has asked if I can create some other sketches for him to put on his websites and to get blown up and turned into vinyl for his company trailer. Yay! Still trying to figure out what my going rate is but I'm sure I'll sort something out.

We shift in about 5 weeks, we have a tenant for our first rental and my brother might be coming to stay for a while. Yay! Things are going great even if I am tired and feel like poo.

It was totally worth it

2007-09-03T16:27:00.001-07:00

So we did it. We decided at 10pm friday night that we would pack the kids and the car up up and head to the MTV gig with Lupe Fiasco at Snow Park. Andrew and I got most things sorted the night before then tried to get some sleep for the next day.The morning came way too fast but I really shouldn't complain because it just meant the excitement kicked in early. We loaded up and stopped to get a new rego for the car, some snow boots to keep our feet warm and dry and some petrol. We ate egg sandwhiches, the mandatory road trip food for our family, some apples, bananas and discovered that we have a slight addiction to stopping in small towns and buying hot chocolates. Do not buy Hot Chocolate from the dairy/cafe in Athol by the way. Totally just brown water...We made good time to Queenstown so stopped to buy a memory stick for our camera. We bought ourselves a new camera for Christmas and have only been able to take up to 9 photos in one sitting since then haha. It's just the way it came. Got back in the car and headed to Wanaka, drove past a million and one fruit stalls which all looked super cute along the roadside. I would have stopped at them all if we'd had the time. I just like fruit...We got to Wanaka and realised we had no idea where we were actually headed so found the information centre. There were tonnes of young people (well, people my age lol) around so we figured we were on the right track. Back in the car for another 25 minutes or something like that. This time though it was up the side of a freaky as mountain with only a gravel road. I don't know why exactly but I was scared as we drove through the clouds. My fist clenched around the armrest on the door. I guess it's because it just got a bit dark for a while and the road was unfamiliar and some of the corners were narrow and there was ice on the road and signs saying 'fix chains now' when we had no chains to fix... Ok so enough of that. I was only a little bit scared We got to the top and it was completely white. The kids wanted to burst out of their carseats and as soon as they saw snow. We let them out and they were trying to get into all the snow to make snow angels and snowballs.. in the carpark haha.Donned on the rest of our gear to keep warm and headed to the crowd. Nas started tripping over on purpose so he could slide along the ice. This was just the beginning of the best 2 hours of his little life.The next hour and a half consisted of snowfights, snow sliding, making people in the crowd go 'awww', a little girl with a tummy ache and discovering our baby had managed to get an ulcer on the tip of his tongue. So then the crying starts AND DOESN'T STOP. The one time we decide to leave the damn house to have fun and our baby gets sick. Ugh! The ulcer meant he wouldn't eat, wouldn't take a bottle, wouldn't do anything but cry. So we're standing there starting to feel like the worst parents in the world because we have a screaming baby in the middle of bloody nowhere. The decision had to be made... Stay for Lupe Fiasco or go? We took a minute to sulk to ourselves and then Andrew spotted this guy smoking on a balcony. We realised it was Savage. We soon realised that if Savage was there it meant Mark wouldn't be too far off. This was another thing that had drawn us to go. The fact that an actual friend would be there and it's been 2 years since we saw anyone and figured Wanaka is so close we may as well at least try to see if we can catch up! So we went back up the bank to the chalets. Of course seeing as we're just meer peasants and Mark has celebrity status it made getting to him a bit of a drama. Some guy told us 'You can't go through here' so we had to walk back out. (Yeah seriously, what am I gonna do, assassinate them?)Doean't matter though coz it pissed me off enough to just step over the fence and walk right up to the door haha.So there I am, have no idea if I'm knocking on the right door but what is there to lose? We just spent all this time travelling and yeah we had great fun playing in the snow and listening to the MTV people talk kaka but a friend was sooo close and we were about to leave without even being able to see him. Then this American chick answers the door. I ask if there's a Mark staying there and she shrugs and says 'maybe up there?' as she points up a flight of stairs. Out of the corner of my eye I'd seen a brown guy poke his head around the corner and thought, sweet, a brown guy, I'm totally on the right track lol. Ok so that may be a bit stereotypical but honestly...how many samoan guys do you know staying in a chalet on the snow? The guy disappears around the corner and the American girl lets us in. My daughter and I start making our way up the stairs but get stopped in the middle by another samoan guy. This time it was Mark! We have the big hello and hugs and then tell him the rest of the family is still outside. We go back out and get them and spend the next 1/2 an hour catching up. It was great. We would have stayed longer but remember, the baby was screaming, thankfully he wasn't so bad as we talked but he was still not very happy.The whole time we're talking my older two kids are running around throwing snowballs off the cliff at random people walking past , my daughter made the cutest snowman that I forgot to take a photo of and she managed to faceplant herself in a pile of snow which was by far the funniest thing that happened the whole trip. We all just stopped talking and cracked up it was so random.Then it was time to go. It sucked to say goodbye, for that half an hour we felt like ourselves again. It was so nice to see someone that new US. Someone that was actually genuinely happy to see us not these fake as people we know down here. Made me super homesick but as we said, we'll always have Bebo lol. Next time we'll try to get a babysitter ok?!?! Then we can stay longer, make that afterparty and the neighbours can carry on doing what they do hehehe.So we said our goodbyes and headed back up the mountain to the car. The drive down wasn't nearly as scary as I thought it'd be. In fact it was really nice. I forgot to take photos again because I'm still getting used to having space for more than 9 pics on the camera. Got more petrol and headed back to Queenstown to see my brother. Unloaded our gear, got the kids into their pj's and I cooked us all some dinner. Then we got to meet my brothers new flatmates. They're these two girls from Japan. They're awesome!!!Seriously, they were cracking me up so hard. They were so excited to have kids in the house that you could hardly hear yourself think. The kids and the japanese girls were running around the house, all speaking as much english as they can, screaming and laughing. It was cute.We stayed up a while catching up with my brother but we didn't get much sleep after that anyway because of Davis (the baby). He had his cot but couldn't settle because of the ulcer. This is the first time we'd travelled without pamol. Won't be forgetting that anytime soon. He slept between his mummy and daddy and was a lot happier. We'd planned on going to church and spending the day in Queenstown but packed up after breakfast and headed home because we just couldn't take anymore crying. The japanese girls made the kids these little keepsake bags and put a big chocolate inside for them. They gave them to them just before everyone left the house. They went snowboarding, Daniel went to church and we went home. Had a great trip home with the baby sleeping almost the entire way. Stopped to play at a playground and got home at lunchtime. An exhausting trip but totally worth it. The kids haven't stopped telling everyone what they were up to and it was totally the realease Andrew and I needed. Now we're back and ready to tackle things again. It was totally the best decision to take off for the weekend. Even if we didn't get to see Lupe.

Mushy Gooeyness

2007-09-03T16:26:00.003-07:00

I love being married. You don't hear anywhere near enough about the good stuff that comes from it. Like right now, sitting here, in total bliss all because I'm married to a guy that makes me feel like the greatest woman on earth. It's fantastic. Love love love love. I'm in love. I remember when we first got together. Everyone kept saying we were still in the honeymoon stages and things would be different in a little while. Well, 6 years later we still hold hands and laugh at stupid things. We still smile at each other all the time, kiss before saying goodbye and are even more in love and sickening to watch than before. I can't imagine not being married and being the Kinlochs! Life would suck. Big ups to marriage.

Big Girls Don't Cry

2007-09-03T16:26:00.001-07:00

But thats all I want to do. I'm really happy but my whole being is scared. Have you ever experienced having things going so well, all your goals being reached, wishes coming true, everything you want out of life happening all because you wanted it to? I'm right there. I thought I'd be jumping for joy but I'm really just scared. Well, and happy and excited but that's kind of hidden somewhere on the inside. It's been a quiet day in our house. I think hubby is feeling the same. It's just very surreal when things work in your favour. My first blog on bebo was about paying it foward because I was in a position where I had to wait for something that would make or break mine and my families future. The waiting is over. Thanks to anyone who whether they noticed it or not, was more aware of paying it foward and did a good deed that week because I'm reaping the rewards. Our offer got accepted so we just got a great house for our family at a pretty decent price. I can't wait to buy a house I don't have to live in. This has been harder than moving across the entire country. Next move is back home to Auckland. Just give us another 5 years at the most. That doesn't mean thats our last house down here though. Oh no way, we're just getting started.We are happy though. When we look back we realise just how thoughts really do become 'things'. Andrews job is a great example. He was on the phones at a call centre when we got together, dealing with, well...probably all of us and our banking dramas haha. Now he gets calls from managers and the CEO while he's at home because they don't have the understanding he does of things. Seriously, he just got a price for a product needed for the company, cut in 1/2 because he wanted to, even though everyone told him it couldn't be done. We're talking thousands upon thousands of dollars saved. I love the men in my family for this! They are great negotiators. Hoping we can pass this skill on to the kids. I can only pull off getting freebies on little things so I have a lot to learn! Honestly though, my daughters got it down."You can have a lolly once you've tidied your room.""Can I have two lollies?""Yeah, ok, two lollies.""And a cookie!""Whatever, go tidy your room."Room gets tidied...."I can have my lollies now Mum.""Ok.""Don't forget the cookie.""Whaaaa?!?! Get out before I take your lollies back girl.""Hahahaha, bye Mum!"Kids rock.Anyways heres a run down of the good stuff that's happened because somewhere in our minds we'd convinced ourselves that it would. Got poached from one salon to another. Bought my first house at age 18. Got promoted after only a month at work. Passed business papers with A average. Found a way to survive on one mediocre income with 3 kids. Bought second house for 21st birthday. Shifted family and settled happily across New Zealand. Paid off hubbys student loan sooner rather than later and most recently...(I like this one)Convinced the bank they were smart to lend us more money than they wanted to. If you've ever talked to a broker you know they basically tell you a price and then you go, sweet, I'll go look for a house at that price. We actually said, this is the price we want to pay, here is why we can afford it, now you need to figure out if you can give it to me or if I need to go somewhere else. Believe it or not they listened to us and this is part of the reason we're in the surreal existance. A carefully calculated plan minimises the risk and makes everyone happy. It also gives you some good aliances and some people you deal with are just fantastic resources. I know which valuer to use to get the best value for money, I know the names of about 4 good lawyers in town, I know which real estate agents walk the talk and which ones barely even talk it. I know that every person that has walked through my doors these past few weeks has wanted to buy a painting and would pay whatever I told them to pay Anyway, new house for us. Yay. Too tired to really care. 2 of the years goals down and one 2 go. #1 accomplished one month early, #2 one year early. Whats up with #3

Oh yeah...

2007-09-03T16:25:00.003-07:00

Southland Muscles are HUUUUUUGE. All the seafood is! I'm not a huge fan of seafood but I love me some muscles. Seriously, check out my mums kina pics, I'm gonna get some up of the muscles my Bro and Dad dropped off today which was a nice surprise They stay about 2 hours away in Queenstown. Used to have a comparison pic for paua but lost them. Honestly HUGE FREAKIN HUGE.

Still Kickin

2007-09-03T16:25:00.001-07:00

I'm sitting here trying to figure out how to describe how disturbingly sick I've been since Saturday but am just so happy to not have a headache at this very second that I have music pumping and all I can do is nod my head and rap(yeah lol) and sing along to all the lyrics in my head. No room to think about anything else! Can you believe people are singing about lip gloss nowdays? Seriously...why do I even like these songs. Oh oh ohhh my lips are so luscious... My lip gloss is cool, my lipgloss is poppin... Coz Myyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Liiiiiiiiiip Glossssssssss is poppin! Seriously. Such crappy songs but I love em to bits anyway.Ok, so as I said earlier. i've been totally sick. I've basically had a headache since Wednesday but it got really bad on Saturday night. So did everything else. We went to bed and I basically lay there aching in every muscle, shivering yet sweating at the same time, nauseas with a tummy ache, sore ears, sore throat and a headache all at once. I didn't sleep AT ALL. At one point in the night I was shaking so much my hubby told me to 'just stop it' and when I asked if he could get me another cover he said it was already hot and I was fine. Tsk tsk tsk hubby... you're lucky I know you're an egg when you're half asleep and didn't actually understand what was going on. Haha, loooove you Seriously man, I was cold and it made me cry hahahaha. Oh the pathetic dramas that can be created at 3am.Sunday I was basically dead. I got up a few times for the necessary reasons and was totally white, could barely stand, couldn't really move and found myself crawling at one time because I thought it was a good idea to sit with my kids on the floor(lonely me). *TMI* so stop reading here if you're sensitive. I figure that all that manual labour those 2 days during Aunt Flow caused excessive blood loss (and clots ) hence the not being able to do a damn thing and looking like Paris Hilton. I kept saying it felt just like I'd had a baby (same thing happens to me then). I guess thats what you get when you lift 3 metres of macrocarper sleepers at a time a playground and move 5 trailor loads of bark. Lesson learned. Next time make the hubby do it all. Just Kidding Wanna hear a twisted bonus? I lost 3kgs lol. W00p! Tuesday now and I still can't move my neck, those muscles are always super tight on me.COMPLETELY offended a Real Estate agent last night. It was such a funny but horrible thing. Only horrible because woah, she was totally one of those agents that all the books tell you about and you feel a little bit of guilt for putting her through it but funny because I'd never seen anyone get offended like that before! Today we made an offer on a different house. Same price, the vendors are probably only $5-10k difference in their REAL selling price yet todays agent was more than happy to go through with the offer, unlike last nights. Learned quite a bit out of the two dealings though. Learned that we will put into practice some of the advice we've found on how to do the deal without the stupid agent that has obviously never had anyone not offer a price which wasn't printed on the pamphlet. She actually said "Only Aucklander's do that!" when we wanted to put in a specific clause. Wanted to say "well at least it show's we're smarter than you Southlanders" but yeah, just sat with our poker faces on acting totally oblivious to what she was harping on about. Guess she forgot we're true blue jafas.Anyway, for a price difference of 5-10thousand dollars with the other people both being in a position where they're needing to sell in order to move into their newly purchased property or else that falls through for them, you'd think the first agent and her client would be prepared to have a little bit of give.All praise agent #2 for talking sense into her vendors and making them sleep on the offer. #2 house is the ticks in every box house from Saturdays blog.Now herein lies my problem... I had another thought today and realised we would have a pretty decent chance at getting a huge house in a great location at our price, without the fuss of a real estate agent. If todays offer with agent #2 gets accepted, great, we get a pretty cool house but then I have only 5 days to get through this other property, convince the overseas owner to sell to us and pick which place we prefer. Tricky tricky tricky... Do we pick easier and comfortable with slight capital growth gains or a bit of elbow grease, still somewhat comfortable and grander growth gains. Hmmm. Even if we did get one, holding onto it for 20 or more years would definitely guarantee an increase in both which would average out decently either way. But then again, both owners could decide not to sell. Then we get to sit a little longer and decide whether we wanna hold till we get back from home after christmas or keep looking the next few months. Springs coming...people will be moving soon... There's always something somewhere, we have no reason to rush. But wait, theres more, the house 3 doors down looks pretty decent...lol. Just sold pretty cheap, new owners are doing it up. It made us stop in the middle of the road to do a double take it's changed so drastically. Dunno if they're traders, or holders like us but I'm sure we could get it if it suited. Oh the possibilities are endless... Can't turn my brain off even when I'm sick!Cannot wait until it's time to just wait again. Typical, could barely handle the past few years of waiting, now I'm ready to get back to the waiting. This is draining. Whatever happened to worrying that I might step on a crack and marry a rat(didn't happen, thank God) or whether my black heels were too dark to compliment that green dress (yes is the answer to that, gold works great though ) I dunno. Being a grown up is hard. I need ice cream lol.

Ramblings of an overtired blogger

2007-09-03T16:23:00.000-07:00

(Updateing this blog from another blog so from this blog to the latest blog is the order these events have happened even though they're all posted on the same day)

It's been 2 full on days. Sick me (getting worse as the night progresses), sick boys, work, school, prep for an exhibition, renovations, a dozen trips across town, house hunting and nowhere near enough house work. I swear it never ends. We found ourselves with kids packed in the car, trailor on the back, tripping out to the garden centre to fill the trailor, stopping to view a house, then unloading the trailor and repeating the cycle again and again and again. We are absolutely, completely exhausted. My hands are covered in blisters and every muscle aches. It's times like this I long for a babysitter. Thankfully our kids are pretty decent and don't act up when things are busy. They're just as tired as us so have crashed.I seriously recommend taking a child house shopping. They notice things you often miss. They also have a great sense of what will work and will tell you how it is. Ok so maybe it's not exactly easy to cart them around but if you can take a kid through a house before you buy it, totally do it. It's interesting to hear what they have to say. For instance we were completely oblivious that a house we'd looked at had two toilets. Not little Miss V though. They can actually picture a family in a house just as much as we can. They'll tell you who can go in which room, what colours they were, if there is enough room to play or if the house is completely yucky. They remember details like where seats were placed, how many beds were in a room and compare them to your own belongings. They're also good entertainment. We saw a place today that had a super cute cat (I'm a dog person) and my daughter thought it was a cool house because you got a cat with it lol.We had another "You can't afford this" experience today. From an young overdressed cocky real estate agent. Seriously, he totally snobbed us to literally push past us and talk to anyone else that was there. Stopped to talk to everyone but us until we were leaving and he told us 'sign the book'. Yeah whatever bro, we're out and don't wanna hear from you. It's cool though, the house was yucky and cheap so he can think what he likes. The house only had an undercoat on it, the boards were rotting through, it had this weird as cupboard in the kitchen which was the pantry but it had holes cut out either side and mesh on top so basically your food was exposed to the outside?!?! Not so great when you regularly live with temperatures below 0 degrees. Weird...weird weird weird. And it was cold, probably from that stupid cupboard lol. Tonnes of room though. If I was in the business do ups to trade or hold I'd totally pick that place. Great location and you know you could get it for at least 30k less than what they're asking. If you didn't you'd just be stupid.On the other hand, saw a fantastic house. Ticks in all the boxes AND would allow us to keep our daughter at the same school. Don't wanna pay the asking price though which is a little tricky because it's new to the market so they aren't desperate enough to sell it for less than what it's worth. Man, I sound as though I wanna rip everyone off lol. Ahh well, I get what I'm talking about. If it don't make sense (cents) it don't make dollars dollars.There was also anther one. Right smack bam in the middle of the two extremes. TONNNNNNNNES of room, fantastic location but would mean moving my daughter, although school would be about a 2 minute walk, has been on the market a while, owner is overseas and the house has been rented...herein lies the reason for the cosmetics problems. It's a ginourmous old character home which placed in auckland would fetch about $700,000+ - no crap, in as is condition. Done up and stuck in AKL, we're talking a million dollar property. Fixed up down here, it'd fetch maybe 350k which is still a pretty decent profit compared to the buying price. It's a lot of work though. Nothing to do outside except for a yard tidy but inside the original wallpaper is still up, one of the bathrooms is half done and some of the fixings have come off. Nothing a few thousand dollars and a month of weekends wouldn't fix. Maybe a $10,000 investment for a $100,000 return. For a family of 5 that has no plans of stopping anytime soon and work a lot of their spare time so they don't have to work when they're older, it's just a bit much for now. But man oh man does it have potential. I won't scrub that one off the list completely though. I swear it's almost been a year since it was listed.Ok, I think thats about it on the houses. We've been fixing up our own house this weekend. It's been heaps of fun. Got told it looks like a restaurant today lol. Strangest compliment we've had yet. We really have one of the cheapest houses in Invercargill but no-one seems to realise. It's amazing what paint can do. It's an old 1920s villa, the kind you find in Mt Eden, it's just a normal house down here though. Strange layout but a great potbelly that pumps out the heat and has everyone stopping by our house to keep warm in the winter. I love this house to bits. There's really nothing great about it but we all really love it anyway. In these old houses everything is huge. Huge dining room, huge living room, huge hallway, huge bath, huge bedrooms but also huge property which maybe some people like...I thought I would but seriously, hate it. Means we can't spend weekends relaxing, instead we have to mow the lawns! Which brings me to what we've been doing. We just created a huge area for the kids to play, a new garden and once we finally find the right table a bbq area. Believe it or not, we still have a heap of lawn. I know I talk about houses a lot but it's my hobby. I paint for fun but for even more fun I find bargains in real estate. This is just the tip of the iceberg, my husband gets all the super boring stats. I know richmastery are after someone in our area to do this but I'm too lazy right now to seriously consider it. Maybe I shouldn't be so lazy, those guys are great and I could learn a tonne from them. Hmmm food for thought. With hubby and I doing it together we'd be great.Anyway, if you made it this far, congratulations you just won a goodnights sleep.Peas.

Does This Ever Happen To You?

2007-07-31T01:23:00.001-07:00

I can't count the number of times a checkout operator has commented directly or indirectly that I cannot afford what I am about to purchase. I don't hire purchase and I avoid bad debt like the plague so when I go shopping I actually have cash in my account or in my purse. I said a couple of posts ago that when it rains, it pours for us and it looks like it's still happening because 2 days ago our vacuum died on us.After one day without a vacuum I was ready to never let anyone through my house again in case they left with some unidentifiable virus from all the dirt and muck that the little ones had trapsed around the house. So today I cancelled a visit so I could have my lunchtime free again so we could go pick out a new vacuum while we only had one child in tow.We'd been looking at a couple of the vacuums trying to suss out the best value for money eg great wattage at a reasonable price. There were two we quite liked one was 2000watt for $300 and one was 2000watt for $400. There wasn't really any difference between the two other than one looked even cooler than the other lol. As we're trying to decide we move around to stand at the side of the vacuums and this lady that has been watching us like a hawke the whole time finally speaks up and says "Only the purple one is on special". It was kinda like, Huh? What purple one? We saw that she meant the vacuum right next to us that was 1800watt. Sale price $179. Now yes, great deal and all but we weren't even aware there was something on special and we never once showed any interest in that vacuum? So thats what I said.We looked around again and finally stopped at the $300 one and started inspecting it. I mean, when you spend any money don't you make sure what you're buying is going to work just right for you? I do but maybe I'm just strange. She then comes over again and in what must be the only tone she knows how to use, lets call it her angry voice puts her hands on her hips, kinda scoffs and rolls her eyes at the same time as she says "are you sure you're all right". To which I reply, "Yeah, just fine."We decide that this is the vacuum for us, cute, powerful and affordable so I lift up the top box, hubby grabs the bottom box (coz I have this thing about taking items on top/at the front. I just can't do it!) We get up to the checkout and what do you know, the checkout lady then decides she has something to say about our purchse too. "They have another one on special, its cheaper."This time I didn't reply, just nodded. There will probaly always be something cheaper but I don't want to be back there buying another vacuum in 6 months. I want one that will last another 10 years like my last one did. I guess I shouldn't have gone shopping in trackpants and a hoodie while pushing a baby around huh. Maybe next time I should just drop $3000 on a kirby in the comfort of my own home and get a free shampoo for my carpet lol.This is just one of the many, many times I have been told I cannot afford something. Thankfully I didn't get the urge to knock someone out today like I did when I was pregnant and buying all the gear for my first baby...woooo, I'd never been dragged out of a baby store like that before, thanks for rescuing them hun lol.

It all makes sense now

2007-07-30T00:34:00.000-07:00

Last night in that quiet moment before you fall asleep and you're just about to lie down we realised what went down yesterday. I was not creeped out about the whole thing until this realisation. Finally everything made sense. Why out of everyone in the supermarket there was to choose from (including plenty of mixed skinned people) that guy chose to say those things to us, why we thought there was more than one person behind us, why it was the creepiest voice I'd ever heard and why it will haunt me the rest of my life, why he couldn't look us in the eye the three times he had the chance, why when we got glimpses of his eyes they were so black, why he ran off scared as soon as he was made. It made no sense why he was calling us jews at the time but now it makes complete sense. He wasn't there to shop and it wasn't about race at all. Thats the funny thing. This experience wasn't about race like I really thought it was. Now thats creepy.

Crazy and Deranged

2007-07-29T01:43:00.000-07:00

Today we had to pick up a few things from the supermarket. As we began wandering through the fruit and vege department I began hearing some muttering coming from directly behind me. It was strange stuff and I just figured ok, another bunch of weirdos thinking they're funny and talking amongst themselves.

The muttering got more and more twisted, almost as though someone was talking as though they were thoughts in ones head? "You're insecure." Was one phrase I heard a couple of times. Then it went on to "You're jewish, thats why the nazis put you in the chambers and gassed you."

More completely random stuff about us needing to die in one of the creepiest voices I've ever heard came out of this persons mouth but I was trying to ignore it because I then thought it was a couple of white power freaks that run around down here talking to each other. Then I decided to turn around because it was a really strange way for friends to talk to each other, even messed up racists.

So I turned to see what they were doing, then turned back to my husband with a puzzled look on my face. I asked the hubby who he was talking to and he nodded his head at me, it was us. There was one man, in his 30s dressed in black, full on beard and beady black eyes stalking US!! US?!?!

I turned back to the guy and said "Excuse me? Who are you talking to? Are you talking to to me?" To which he quickly scuffled past trying to disappear. So I said again, "Excuse me, were you talking to me?" He stopped and turned slightly. I was giving him my full on, don't even think you can pull that typa sh*t with me idiot look but he was too scared to look me in the eyes.

He fidgeted uncomfortably and once again began muttering "Something something, I'll beat your heads in *foul words to follow*" then turned and practically ran out of the store.

We kept on walking like, seriously, did that just happen in the middle of the supermarket? Were we the only ones to hear what just went down? We took a couple more steps and I saw a woman talking to her father. She'd heard the whole thing and we all had a bit of a laugh. He didn't even stop to buy anything so I wonder what he was doing there in the first place? What possessed him to say such stupid crap to us? Was it because we're one of the few (although a lot more than there used to be) mixed race couples/families? Thats the only reason I can see. My daughter then started asking why the man was mean to us. The only response I could give her was that the man was crazy and needed some help.

Seriously, he must be crazy. Sucks to be him.

Just another wonderful small mindedness dilema from the deep south. Gotta love it.

Bring On The Weekend!

2007-07-25T14:58:00.000-07:00

I am sooo keen for it to be Saturday. Saturday we get to fix the house up!!! Seriously, exciting stuff. We started working on our back yard and then the weather drastically took a change. We got feirce winds which undid all the work, it then rained or froze over every day since. So we have been living with an eyesore for months. I can't wait to fix it.

Last night we had a cottage night at our place. It went better than I expected it to be. The sisters organised it and in typical mormon fashion we had a short lesson, cheesy game and sugary treats. I only had one chitchat and 1 finger so I think I handled it well lol. It was a tonne of fun, my whole body ached from all the laughing.

Here are a couple of pics from the night.

My daughter is home from school. She was coughing all morning so we kept her home and of course she doesnt want to sit still, she wants to go play with her brothers. We asked her if she was able to handle a day at school and she put on her biggest puppy dog eye look so we gave her the benefit of the doubt. 1/2 an hour later though...would you look at that, right as rain. Running around, laughing screaming asking to eat some lollies?!?! So I'm making today as boring as possible. She's confined to the couch. I'm not totally mean so she can have her colouring in gear and watch movies but thats about as far as I'm willing to go. Later tonight we'll talk to her about it together. So far so good. She hasn't moved from her spot in 1/2 an hour and is accepting the rules. If she's well enough to think she can run around the house getting up to mischief with the boys, she's definitely well enough to be at school. When shes actually sick she just lies there all day and breaks your heart. This isn't one of those days.

A Few More Things

2007-07-23T00:18:00.001-07:00

You know, the more I think about it, the more I start to think that maybe our car was meant to break down. So we could see other ways to get ahead and reach our goals earlier.

I spent a lot of time today browsing the entire website of one of the most marvellous information tools out there for any prospective investor.. Great practical advice, easy to understand, mentors, referrals, forums with people that know what they're talking about and give great advice, books, dvds seminars - all that good stuff.

A few posts back I said I painted and entire canvas black - heres what I ended up doing. I also did 2 commissioned pieces for some clients and created a set of heart paintings for my words of love series.

Solution Found

2007-07-22T23:36:00.000-07:00

Would you look at that... Only took an hour of discussion to come up with a solution. Conclusion: approach bnz (yucky, yucky bank, soooo slow) and put last of student loan, car repairs and last of personal debt onto mortgage. Total added onto mortgage is about $10,000. This frees up quite a bit of money which will no longer be used towards the debts as the bank will most likely make the fortnightly fee much less than now and that leaves extra money free that we can then throw at this now raised mortgage. Also gives us our savings (a credit union thing) to put towards the much needed renovations for this house and a new valuation for the property which ultimately puts us back in the same position as we would have been had we not had huge car repair and dental bills...ready and waiting to make our first step in real estate investing. Wooo... if anyone out there thinks this is a bad idea, feel free to let me know and your reasons why but I feel pretty comfortable with this conclusion. Oh yeah I also managed to track down some space in Auckland to exhibit so hopefully all going well that comes through. Its amazing what you can come up with when you're under pressure. Now hopefully bnz aren't as much trouble as they usually are and can have this sorted within the next 2 days!

So Close

2007-07-22T21:12:00.000-07:00

Wow, well we just had a hard blow. Our car is going to cost about $2000 to repair. We only just found our way out of the black hole and now it want's to suck us back in. When it rains it pours. Oh how I cannot wait to have a chuckle at the thought of $2000 car repairs. We can buy a run around for that price but what good would that be to us for our trip home to get sealed and see the family we haven't seen in the past 2 & 1/2 years. With 3 kids and no babysitter, I have to get there to get a break! So, let's start again. Tonight we will come up with a new plan. A new way to attract $2000. Wow, I'm so overwhelmed. Soooo lets try and see some good in this. Our car will be completely ready for the big trip in December. We shouldn't have any more car troubles. We can get creative. I've been thinking about having a small exhibition and also contacting local cafes to sell my work through so now might be a good time to do this. I may also be able to find some upcoming exhibitions. I've also been told I'm not charging nearly enough for my work so why not, I'm going to take the plunge and up the prices. I'm sure there are other things I haven't thought of yet so lets see where the thoughts lead.... Thinking positive thoughts and seeing us back on top already.

12 Days!!!

2007-07-21T21:31:00.000-07:00

Yep, 12 days since I last logged in here. Slack huh!

Well now I'm back and things have calmed down. I have a bit more energy and I'm ready to update.

Lost 1.4kg this week. So I am FINALLY back to my lowest sincestarting this. So what do I do? get a craving for KFC and give in... Better work hard this week huh.

Hubby walked to go get it on this freezing cold wet day, bless his heart:D Now thats love.

Our car has paru'd out for the second weekend and has to go back to the mechanics tomorrow so there goes some more money and extra hassle for us. We'll have to walk the kids to school and kindy, find someone to take hubby to work and forget about doing anything else. Hopefully it doesn't rain on the days we're without the car!

Have been living on like no money due to some unexpected circumstances *cough cough* crappy car. Thankfully someone is on our side and in one day I made enough to get us back on plan and the hubby got us into credit. Great teamwork!! Yay for us.

Had a bit of commission work lately which has been cool. Another enquiry so will see where that takes me.

Missed out on Church yet again. No transport = no go. Hopefully next week.

Got given 10 broccolli yesterday lol. I chopped them all up and packed them into serving sized bags. At least we won't be running out any time soon hehe. Thank goodness for a chest freezer.

Been looking at houses and found one with ticks in every box. Just not sure we're ready with the setup just yet so we're still just sitting waiting. Hopefully we have some breakthrough this week.

Ever Googled Your Name?

2007-07-10T03:08:00.000-07:00

I have. I can get through 10 pages and it's all me...actually ME. There are more but I don't feel the need to go past 10. You should try it. It's kinda cool.

I've been painting a lot today. I hadn't touched a brush in a while so had a good time working on the next painting for my polynesian blood series. I'm finally getting somewhere with her! I also sprayed an entire canvas black. Not sure what else I'm going to do lol.

Todays weather was cold...nothing new. Up in the North Island though sounds pretty freaky. My inlaws live in Kaeo and everything is completely flooded...thankfully not their house or caravan though. They've been swamped with debri and cargo containers on their property though. Their power has been out since 9am.

Hubbys grandparents are in the dark too. The power went out just after 6pm for them. Hope everything gets sorted out quickly. Yesterday was the extreme weather day for us. Cars sliding all over the road, black ice everywhere, emergency department overflowing. New Zealands winter is crazy. Bring on Spring and Summer.

Sold some paintings today. I'm very happy about that.

Had a visit from the Sisters. They're still smiling and very helpful and friendly. They're good company.

Really hoping to finish 'her' (my painting has been called her and she for a long time now) this week.

Been exercising and eating badly. Grrr...self control is so hard in winter. Had a surprise candlelit dinner tonight. Who says husbands are totally useless. Sometimes they get it right. About time...:P We've had a few fun nights together this week. We've been finding it hard to get time together with my job as a stay at home mum (proven equivalent to 2 full time jobs), being an artist, andrews full time job, helping me out parentwise and doing his contract work. Thats about 5 or 6 jobs. No wonder we're always tired. That's not including all the other stuff we have to do. So yeah, instead of just flopping on the couch in front of the tv...which has happened a whole lot more lately than it has in yeeeears, we've been trying to actually make things fun. So here are some photos from the week.

What is with blogger and its spacing!?!?! Ugh. I hate when a post is all cramped.

This could be fun - Join In

2007-07-08T21:07:00.000-07:00

I decided to write this for my bebo blog...which I've never used. Wanted to share it here too.

I'm sitting here, having one of my moments where I just have to share something with somebody but there's no-one around, so I'm going to try bebos blogger.

Anyway, for those of you that know the real me, you know I'm the feel good, overly happy type and you really don't care that I am, because that's what makes me, me and we all love it.

I'm going through a time in life where all I can do is wait. Patience is a virtue and unfortunately not one I am that good at putting into practice, so I tend to do things in the interum to try and speed up the process. I believe you have to give to get. Karma, I guess you call it. I truely feel it's the times that you find yourself really struggling, that you are actually given the opportunity to grow the most. You get those overwheleming feelings of pain, grief, fear...whatever and sometimes you don't see a way out, but there always is.

Now, my problem isn't really as extreme as grief or pain, in fact it's not extreme at all it's just something that weighs heavily on my mind on a daily basis. I'm at the age where what I do, is really going to shape my future and the future of my children. The thing I am waiting for is juuuust out of reach but once it is within reach, my family is set for life. If I were to die the next day, I could know I'd done enough to create a great future for my family.

That brings me to what I've been babbling about....actually consider going along with me as I put foward a challenege. I'm sure by now, we've all heard of the phrase pay it foward or more simply put a random act of kindness. What I want is for myself and whoever actually sits down long enough to read this, to pay it foward. It doesn't have to be three acts though, just ONE random act of kindness is all that's required...three is great though, if you can do that, don't let me stop you.

Why am I posting this up on bebo?

Because ya'll too far away for me to babble to you in person Well, that and because from my own experiences, this really works.

I've been the benefactor of random acts of kindness and I still remember the acts just like they were yesterday. One that comes to mind is something from when I was 19... I was a young mum and had 2 children by then. We lived in South Auckland at the time because that was basically the only place we could afford to live on one low-middle income with 4 people to support. Times were really hard, we never really let on how hard they were but trust me, life was falling apart on the daily. Words like divorce, suicide and broke come to mind remembering those times. We decided to go 'window' shopping one late night because we just had to get out of the house and be together because it was a rare occurance that we ever got to see each other before 8pm. We had finished for the night and were packing our pram into the car when this asian man came running across the carpark yelling something. We thought maybe he was in trouble but no. He came up to me and said "you have a baby no?" I nodded my head and said yes, 2 children...? Then he opened his bag and pulled out this other bag. He said "I buy too much, you have this. I buy too much" and passed me a pumpkin patch bag. So by now, you know we were broke a$$ and you can probably guess we didn't dress our children in pumpkin patch because of this. I opened the bag and there was an entire outfit in there. I thanked him and just about cried...coz I'm sappy like that. The whole night I couldn't believe how lucky we were. A big warm outfit that actually fit my eldest child. It then fit my middle child and now fits my youngest child. It really helped change our attitudes about everything and from then on, things just seemed to fall into place for us.

Although we do just fine financially now and can afford to shop wherever we damn well please, I still love using the hand-me-down outfit. It's gorgeous and it reminds me that there are still kind people in the world. That one person can make an entire familys world turn around. I don't know why he chose us to give it to but it helped us then just as much as it helps now. I hope something good came of that mans random act of kindness. Maybe he was just after a smile for the day, if so he definitely got it. Maybe he knew the benefits that he would receive from a random act of kindness and was doing it with the hope that something good would come his way. Maybe his wife would have slapped him for spending too much money if he took the outfit home.. Who knows. Whatever the reason, he inspired me to be a better person and this week, I'm out to repay the favour with some more random acts of kindness. I'd love it if you joined me.

You get what you give.

Saturday Mornings

2007-07-06T16:03:00.000-07:00

I've spoken to my hubby and brother about getting back into regular weigh ins but this time with photos (yikes!) So here are the first results from our weigh in. Only 22 weeks to go....arrrrgh, so scary.

7 July 2007

Measurement	Chavah	Andrew
Neck:	36	42
Chest:	99	111
Abs:	90	105
Waist:	92	108
Hips:	104	109
Thigh:	55	60
Calf:	37.5	39
Bicep:	32.5	36
Total loss to date:	20.7kg	15.2kg

So I've gained in my measurements...which is hardly surprising seeing as we had fish and chips for dinner last night...and thats about all I ate the entire day! I lost 400grams this week but still haven't managed to get back to where I was a few weeks ago. Slowly but surely, maybe next week I'll have a little victory. Daniel is in Australia so no weigh in for him this week. Excuse the really crap photos that we'll no doubt have every week lol.

Paintings Update

2007-07-05T15:34:00.000-07:00

Ok at the bottom of this post I think I've put up all the photos of paintings I've done lately that aren't already up. I'll double check later because I can't remember exactly. Most of them have already sold. I have a couple of requests I'm working on too. Just started a set of four of my heart paintings which I'm going to auction off together. The only time I'm going to do this. I have 1 huge golden grasses piece I'm working on, 1 absolutely huge (like about 2 metres huge) abstract piece and I'm still working on my polynesian girl with her dancing knife. I'm just so confused about what I want from her. Oh well, I'll get there in the end.

Loving having a treadmill at home, although the freakin kids managed to jam a ruler in there already. Needless to say it snapped and made us freak out. It's strength training today but I feel sooo weak. Very tired because we had a late night last night. Sitting and waiting when you want to buy another house is one of the most painful things ever. Ugh! It drives me nuts. So now we're trying to put the focus on seeing ourselves in the house. We know we can get there next year very easily but man, we just want to be there now! We're setting up some appointments to get some information about the possibilities open to us. Hopefully we can come away with a concrete plan of action.

Wow, I'm tired. I have to reclean my house today. The kids are home so I can get them to help...sort of... either that or I'll send them to play in their room for some quiet time and just do it all quickly. I like the latter idea but I guess that's not exactly what supernanny would recommend. I do like having them help but when I'm so worn out it seems like a much easier choice to just do it all myself.

Off to paint now...

It Was A Good Day

2007-07-04T15:21:00.000-07:00

I seem to have slept very well last night. This isn't a common occurance for me. It means I woke up refreshed and happy and was able to jump right on the treadmill and do some walking. I sweat so much more at home? It's gross. Oh well "If you're not sweating anywhere, you're not getting anywhere."

I swear somebody was outside our house last night. I heard something snap and then started slapping my hubby to wake him up (which took a while) then (because it's frosted) I heard some footsteps crunching the grass. So we got out of bed and tripped over some shoes and it was so black we couldn't see anything but I know what I heard. A few minutes later a dog down the road started going nuts. I'm pretty sure there was someone out there.

Today I am greatful for my mp3 player. It totally takes me out of reality and lets me escape into my head for a little while.

The kids are behaving so far today. The sun is really shining today so that means it's really cold out. It's great to have sun though!

I tried a new effect for my paintings last night. I love it. I want to have lots of fun with it now. It's this thing you use to create a cracked look.

Had the missionaries and friend come over last night too. It was a funny night.

My brother is on his way to Australia...or may even be there by now. Our Nana passed away last week .Shes the third grandparent to go. We knew all four of our grandparents and my brother hadn't been to the other 2 funerals due to different circumstances and so he's gone over for this one. I'm not sure if he'll get there in time but at least he gets to see the other side of the family and be with them.

I have a few paintings I'm hoping to get on with today. Really looking foward to that.

That's about it for now.

Ello Ello

2007-07-03T18:31:00.000-07:00

Well, I finally have some time and energy to update this thing. The past week has been pretty busy with work, church, school, kindy, shopping etc. It's finally time to just sit down and relax. Of course it takes me getting sick again to actually sit down and rest.. My batteries are dying so I better make this quick. All is well, still alive, have a treadmill, sick again, kids on holiday, selling paintings, Nana passed away, bought new clothes in smaller size than the last big shop, changed my bebo skin and am now ready to eat some lunch. That about sums it up! Will post more later.

SOOOOOO (Drumroll Please)

2007-06-25T03:56:00.001-07:00

It is done!!!!!!

As of today we have exceeded our goal of attracting $3000. That's right. We managed to raise $3080 to date from March doing things other than a regular 9-5 job. I'm stoked. Oh yeah, and if you haven't noticed...We're a whole month ahead of the deadline!!!! And yes, since Saturday, we have come up with the other $1000+. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT! This is so crazy. I can't even begin to explain how good it feels to know we reached our first goal. Sooo comforting to know that 'The Secret' works. I knew it did but wow, so refreshing to be the one with the tale to tell.

We're not finished yet though. Onwards to Goal #2. I have been so busy focusing on the money side of things I've lost sight of reshaping my body, so baby steps first. i'm putting it out there. In the next 8 weeks I WILL lose 5 kgs or more. I will walk/run for at least 20 minutes a day and strength train twice a week.

Watch......This.......Space.......

Check This

2007-06-23T03:34:00.001-07:00

Ok so today curiosity got the better of me and I sat down and worked out the money that I have managed to attract since I first made this post. Are we ready for the total?

To date I have raised $1949!
So $3000-$1949 =$1051 left to attract.

Not bad for a Stay-at-home Mum. I had no money coming in before I decided to do this. Hadn't had anything in years, obviously...I wasn't working so I had no idea I could make money. Heck I'm happy with just that but I'm not throwing in the towel just yet. Lets see how much further we can go. Time is very very near. The pressure is definitely there.

Sold 2 more paintings today. Been working on two others today too. Hopefully I can have them finished and listed tomorrow.

Farrrrr Out

2007-06-22T04:51:00.000-07:00

Things are just awesome in the Art world. For the past week I have basically sold one piece of Art a day. I also just discovered that one of my paintings I sent in to WAX has been used in the WAX 2007 Gallery. Thats great FREE publicity for me. There are two fellow Art Guildies in the 11 Artists used with me. It's pretty cool. I recognised the artists by their paintings. I love that I'm learning more about NZ Art and Artists. Go here to have nosey! http://www.womansart.co.nz/page135926.aspx . I sent an email around my family telling them it was featured but forgot to add the link. LOL, duh.
Here are a few paintings I just finished the past few days. Ok well my internet is being rubbish so the pics aren't uploading right now. I'll do it tomorrow. Goodnight!

Miracles Still Happen

2007-06-20T03:41:00.000-07:00

I last posted 2 days ago. The last sentences expressed that I really wanted an easier day the next day. Well I woke up to a huuuge (this is normal) pile of washed and dried laundry just waiting to be folded. Any parent will tell you how hard it is to juggle everything and some days you just feel so blah, you're about to cry at the slightest thing.

This was me yesterday. I saw the laundry and almost cried because I was so worn out. I stood on one side of my living room just looking at the pile and said a silent prayer, basically begging for some help. I forgot about that moment until 3:30 rolled around and there was a knock at my front door. I opened it up and saw our two sister missionaries standing there. I hadn't seen them in a very long time so welcomed them in. They walked through, looked at me and said "Let us help you with that", sat down and began folding my washing. Now usually I am too proud to accept this type of help but there was no hiding I was feeling pretty down. They happily helped me fold the laundry and hung around until it was time for my husband to come home. They REALLY brightened my spirits because of that.

We ended up going out to dinner as a family because the exhaustion was still there. Going out was wonderful. We all really enjoyed it. Then when we got home, my Mum had called so I ended up talking to her for a while which once again brightened my mood. Earlier that day she had also sent a parcel down for my daughter and in it was a really nice top for me. It made me feel pretty special.

Tonight we had the 4 missionaries over for dinner. They're a really great bunch and the kids love them to bits. We have a new sister that my eldest son is smitten with. The last person he interacted this much with was Elder Jaussi. They were totally buddies. It's nice to have good influences around the kids. We had some awesome roast lamb and veges and apple pie for dinner and dessert. They did all the dishes, the first time we've ever said yes and let them do that. They really do just want to help and it made them smile as much as it made us smile so it was a great night. Lots of laughs and smiles and some very warm bellies. It's a good thing I've been doing all my exercise.

The past 2 days have been a total turn around. I've sold more paintings too, with a few more fans emailing and sending nice messeges. It's all great. I'm ready for bed now though, a lot has happened and I'm thankful for that. Heres to all the brighter days ahead.

This Ill Feeling

2007-06-18T03:29:00.000-07:00

I keep feeling ill every time I eat protein. Well at least thats the only thing I can figure it's happening after. Sucks.

Worked out today. Did my cardio warm up, then strength training, then finished with cardio again. It was quite sore but I could have kept going for a bit longer. Thats no good though. My *something, I'm too tired to remember the real name for* levels would be too high and would hinder my efforts instead of helping.

Well, I have more muscles. My triceps can be felt when I'm not flexing. Gosh I want the fat layers gone. I honestly have very muscular arms and legs, I just have so much extra skin and fat from my years of not giving a damn that unless I told you to touch my arms to feel the muscle, you wouldn't know it was there. Oh yeah...that, and if I'm raising some weights above my head but how often is that about to happen...

Ugh, still wanting to vomit. I want to stop beng a lazy a$$ and wake up early in the mornings again. All I really want to do is run and hide, curl up in a ball or something. Hormones eh. Trying my best to suck it up and be a big girl. Praying for an easier day tomorrow. One day I will wake up without bags under my eyes.

Wow, This Really Does Work

2007-06-17T02:54:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to update everyone to let you know that this really isn't some bullcrap hippy feel good rubbish. The law of attraction is real and it works. A lot of things had happened recently which ate into our $500+ savings money. This weekend I have managed to push our savings from $0 to $535. That is so crazy. The craziest is that last night I went to bed reciting 'By the end of tomorrow I will have made $110' So at 6:30 this evening when I checked my email I was happy to see that I had just made myself $50. I walked away thinking, well hey, that's pretty decent, at least I made it halfway there. Then at 9:30pm when I checked my email again, imagine my delight when I saw I had just made another $60. Add it up and what do you have? $110! Freaky. Add to that the other sales I made on the weekend and thats $535 more than I had last weekend. Awesome. That's all I can say. I'm about to go watch the secret again. It's been quite a while since I've seen it and I need some help focusing. Especially with these killer cramps I started getting this evening. ########### bad words bad words ########### is how I feel about those. Ugh.

Yay! Good News

2007-06-14T23:04:00.000-07:00

I just got an email from the lady organising the WAX event. One of my paintings was sold! I'm so happy. Very unexpected because yesterday I got an email saying the paintings would be back in two days and then I got an email from her apologising because she'd made a mistake. She's really nice. Has been helpful throughout the whole exhibition process. Apparently I'm not the only one that has bugged her so she must be a very patient woman! I'm not sure which one sold but I'm sure I'll find out in the next few days.

Just finished a small piece for my Hugs and Kisses series. I think I'm beginning to enjoy painting all of these hearts. They seem to have grown on me. I think it's because I get to play around with textures. That's a tonne of fun. I totally have the best jobs in the world as a Mum and Artist. I get to play all the time. Luck, lucky me. :D

This piece is inspired by those old trees at the bottom of the school field, or out in your back yard from your school days or even just one of those trees that you see in movies. I quite like it. It just has a 'happy memories' feeling to it. It's called Carved With Love.

Looking Up

2007-06-14T17:44:00.000-07:00

I wrote my cousin an email yesterday. I'd been avoiding doing it because I had been so slack with my workouts and eating because I was sick. I decided to suck it up and tell him about the ups and downs because I realised, I can't run away and hide from it, I just needed to own it. He wrote back an encouraging email just saying it happens to everyone and to shake it off, which I of course have already done :D. So onto some more good news. I fit into some size 16 pants yesterday! I bought them 6 months ago but had to leave them in my drawers because they didn't fit properly. Now they fit and are a bit loose. It seems as though I'm always going to struggle with my chunky butt and thighs and tiny waist. I fit pants but they're ALWAYS loose around my waist which is really frustrating. I just can't go smaller because then my fat thighs and bum won't fit lol. So I live with the loose waist and find belts that might help the situation. The same thing goes with my top half. I have really broad shoulders, they call it an hourglass figure. So although the clothes may hang a little big around my waist, I have to buy a bigger size because of my manly shoulders hahaha. Ahh well. There are worse things in life.

Also weighed myself. I'd gained almost 2 kgs back since being sick...yes...terrible! As of yesterday though, I'm back down to my proper weight, thank goodness for that! It's amazing what a little regular eating and exercise can do.

Yesterday I accidentally shrunk my one nice top in the dryer. It's ok though because I've also shrunk so it fit just fine! W00p W00p.

I'm also having a good time selling my paintings. My Words of Love series seems to be quite popular. I just sold 4 of them today so I think we may be able to bump up our savings now. I still have a few more auctions to close which I hope will also sell. Will have some new listings up tomorrow or the next day I think. Remember, if you're reading this and you like something, bid! I'm still fundraising. Here's the link http://www.trademe.co.nz/Members/Listings.aspx?member=741360 . It's birthday season right now so why not buy some original New Zealand art?

So Tired

2007-06-13T14:49:00.000-07:00

The past few days my muscles have ached and my mind and body have just been sooo tired. That last strength training session was intense to say the least. Tomorrow I'm going to go do it all again and the cycle will most likely repeat itself. I came to the realisation today, that even though I feel I'm being extremely lazy, I still will be at the gym 3-4 times a week for INTENSE workouts each time, whether thats running uphill on the treadmill or lifting 100kgs, I am always pushing myself. In my head I'm always reciting some motivational quote like 'do what you think you cannot do' or 'if you're not sweating anywhere, you're not getting anywhere' or even 'you can't just wish it all away chavah, you have to do it!' I feel I should be proud of my efforts. Most people only go to the gym to prance around and do the same thing over and over again, never pushing themselves, never breaking a sweat and often only once or twice a week, on a good week! I do well and I should really acknowledge it every now and again.

My Uncle just called to ask if I'd seen or read 'The Secret'. I love the secret (obviously hehe) if you remember, thats what this whole blog is about. I haven't shared this blog with my family yet. I'm waiting to show it to them at the end of the year. I'm glad my family are fans or the secret too. It's good to know we're all working towards fuller lives.

Just finished a painting

2007-06-12T19:01:00.000-07:00

Just finished another mixed media painting. They're a lot of fun I have to say. I kept this one quite simple. I love the big thick cross I made for it. I will put this one up for sale on Thursday or Friday.

It's Late

2007-06-12T03:55:00.000-07:00

It's after my designated bedtime but hubby's working and I have been trying to stay up with him. We'll see how much longer I last. I am sooooooo unbelievably SORE! I did an extreme strength training session last night and damn, am I paying for it. Love it but hate it. I managed to finish off a piece today. It's really cute. I've had a lot of comments about it already. Let's hope it's as popular when I try to sell it. Looking foward to being finished fundraising so I can just let paintings sit at a higher price, a price I'd actually value them for. Ok so here it is. I'm off to finish another painting and wait up a little bit longer.

It's My Birthday

2007-06-10T19:58:00.000-07:00

So today marks my 23rd year in life. Wow, I'm about ready to move from 'early 20's' to 'mid 20's' hehe. I've had a nice quiet day so far. I was meant to wake up early and go to the gym but instead woke up every hour during the night and by 6am I was had it. Instead I slept in, got woken up by the hubby and kids singing happy birthday, opened my presents then went back to sleep. LOL. I figure, it's my birthday, I can sleep in. Thankfully my brother was in town so he hung out with my boy till I woke up. When I finally got out of bed at 10:30 I asked for another 1/2 an hour so i could get in a quick walk/run. So that's what I did. It's really sunny out but still freezing. Came home, relaxed, ate some breakfast, cleaned the house, did some laundry then played with the boys. Thats about all my day has been so far. Hubby is coming home early for my b'day which is really cool, only a few more minutes till him and our daughter arrive home. Later on I hope to get to the gym to do a much needed strength training workout! Yay. Other than that, I'll most likely just paint and hang out with the fam bams. Nice and relaxing, the way I like life. Happy Birthday to me.

I'M BA-ACK!

2007-06-09T23:59:00.000-07:00

Just letting the world know that I am back to my positive self and charging full steam ahead. My cold is almost completely gone now, I'm back in the swing of painting and best of all, I renewed my Gym membership today! I am really happy to get back into things. I had a cry and felt sorry for myself last night, talked things over with my hubby and managed to pull myself together with his help, before bed. I'm sure everything can work again. So bare with me the next few months. Pray for me and think positive thoughts! I CAN DO THIS!

Oops, One more thing

2007-06-09T02:07:00.000-07:00

Forgot to mention I finished those other paintings. So here we go. Just finished another tonight.

8 Little Monkies

2007-06-09T01:53:00.000-07:00

Today was my daughters 5th Birthday Party. In my infinite wisdom I decided that since we were smack bam in the depths of winter and I didn't want to run around after a million kids, or cook or clean, that we would just take a bunch of kids to Chipmunks. I am SO glad we did. I honestly didn't stress one little bit! The children ran around, the food was provided, I left the dishes on the table, Charlie the chipmunk cracked the kids up when he shook his 'bum bum' and I got to chat with one of the other Mums, yes, another adult to converse with! It went great. The cake was suuuuper yummy, in fact i'm about to have a bit more, yes I know thats really bad.

Speaking of my goals. I am obsessed with them. I cannot sleep at night. I'm about to cry every time I think about them and feel like an absolute failure. I haven't given up yet though. I have just under 2 months left for the first goal which I probably should have made my last goal! I am still thinking and coming up with some brilliant ideas but time is of the essence so I won't be able to put them to use just yet. I am trying my best, what more can I do. I do all that I can do, only time will tell. If anyone out there feels like donating me some money, I love you!

It's Sooo Cold!

2007-06-06T23:11:00.000-07:00

Really, Southland is on the news because it's snowing in Gore. It's freakin cold!!! My daughter survived school and had a much easier time than the other child that started with her. I picked her up and she was up in front of the class taking part in some song, so yeah, I think her day went just fine. She was playing and sitting with her little buddies, very cute. I bought some photo frames to put up my proud parent photos I took today hehe.

I got some more canvas today. Yay!!!

I forgot to add some of the paintings I finished the other day. So here we go..

School Days

2007-06-06T16:12:00.001-07:00

Well, it was the first day of school today. I'm so proud of my little monkey. She's still so good at adjusting. She just went and said hello to all her old kindy buddies that were now at school and sat on the mat. Then they made a space for her lunchbox so she went and grabbed that and put it with theirs. I got in some super cute photos so I'm really happy about that.

I had to cut yesterdays post short because I had some people show up. Yesterday was very busy, with guests, phonecalls, packages, kindy a bit of grocery shopping. It was a blast. I had a very tired little girl by the end of it all.

I'll finally upload the photos of some work I've been doing. They're not complete just yet, I'm still working on them... maybe.

June's First Post.

2007-06-05T21:30:00.001-07:00

It's been a while since I last posted. I've been dying to update everything but by the time I've managed to find some free time to get this in, I'm too exhausted to think. So today I will update on everything. It's my baby girls 5th birthday today. I'm still in disbelief. I don't think its quite hit home that she's going to be gone all day from now ...until forever! Primary school, intermediate, high school, university, marriage and who knows what else. People always say time goes so fast when you have a child but it really is true. I can remember having her as though it were yesterday. She was the best baby in the world. I always tell everyone that, mostly because compared to her brothers she was a breeze. I always thought she was a good baby but realised it even more after the next 2 babies haha. Slept through from 6 weeks, took to the bottle easily, was cute as a button, never cried unless there was a real need, did everything quite early and learned very quickly. Not much has changed but of course she has her moments and with her brothers to egg her on we have a lot of drama in our home. I have regrets but none that aren't common. I wish i;d taken more photos, I wish I'd recorded more things in a journal, wish I'd dressed her up more as a little girl, wish we'd gone out on more adventures together, lots of things like that but all up I think she's happy with how her first 5 years have gone and so am I. I'll miss my little girl because she really has grown so much but I'm excited to keep doing better for her and get in as much as I can. We have a lot of fun together. I hope that never stops.

I've been busy painting and still recovering from this cold. I have a lot to do at the moment but am taking it as slow as possible. I'm worried about my weight loss. The weather has aboslutely disintergrated so there go my morning jogs, I've been so sick I could barely do a thing, I have still been exercising just very poorly. I have no gym memebrship because we're really trying to save money now and I just have no clue what I'm meant to do to get in all my workouts.

Good Days Ahead

2007-05-31T03:23:00.000-07:00

Well tonight has been a really good night to sit back and reflect on all the wonderful things that have happened since starting this challenge.

It started off with 3 main goals I wished to attract and reach in a timely period but what I've been blessed with on the journey is just as fuilfilling as reaching the end goal. Happiness, motivation, peace, self confidence, a new career choice, new friends, inspiring others, creating closer bonds wih family, it's all been great. The struggles are tiring and can take me back a step or two but that inner voice that tells me it's still possible and absolutely worth it manages to find its way through each and every time I begin to let doubt and fear stand in the way.

I have grown so much stronger and become so much more aware of what I want out of life and what I have to offer that I really just want to do this all over again. I really think I will too. I believe I will reach these goals, and I believe I will then set a task of reaching new ones.

I've found blogging so much easier than writing. My PC is always on (open) and I never need to rush around to find a pen because the keyboard doesn't go anywhere, well sometimes the kids move it but they always put it back. Blogging is really, so very simple! It can take 2 minutes, it can take an hour. You can change it's display when you want and you can share it with anyone you want. It's a great way to keep people up to date on your life.

Well, enough rambling, I need to get to bed because I need to get up early and get my butt moving.

Double Posting

2007-05-29T23:18:00.000-07:00

Today has been such a good day it deserves a second post. Well the day started really horribly with me waking to find that my son had clogged the toilet ALMOST to overflowing, we're talking about 2 mm to spare, and gotten skiddies all over the floor so I had to clean it up... but I got over that relatively quickly thankfully. I'm almost over the cold I've had the past 5 or so days. I sat down this morning and saw the good news about the theme challenge, at lunch time I got a phonecall from my friend that just had the baby so we had a really good catch up. Then hubby came home tonight with some good news about a new job at work. Things are looking up. I am doing well with fundraising for Auckland and my house is pretty much clean apart from the laundry but thats no surprise there. Some day very soon my children will be old enough to reeeally help with that chore! To think that used to be a favourite pass time of mine when I was single. I used to do my friends washing for them because I loved it so much lol. Wow, how things change. I do really enjoy folding hot towels out of a dryer though. There's something calming in that.

I'm ready to exercise again. A bit scared of how much I will have regressed by not sticking to the programme but have no doubt I'll bounce right back into things and be well on my way again.
Life is going really well right now. Yay.

On a Buzz

2007-05-29T16:21:00.000-07:00

I am so excited right now. I just checked out my art boards and on the nzartgild homepage was a picture of my painting! Turns out I won the most creative use of theme (I share this title) and peoples choice award for this fortnights competition. I'm stoked. I really needed that boost, I've been feeling so lousy. Especially about my artwork.

We've been tipped off that Warehouse Stationary is about to have canvas on sale and I can barely wait. I've been waiting since Christmas! Hopefully I can stock up, I really need to.

Oh yeah, to have a look at the winners for this weeks theme challenge go to www.nzartguild.co.nz . Yay, still buzzing. I'm glad others liked it. I really do, I've kept it for myself I like it so much. I even rearranged my black and white wall so it could sit in the middle. Definitely the pick me up I needed.

WAX starts soon. paintings were due yesterday but I have no idea if mine even arrived. Here's hoping that all works out.

I'm feeling a lot healthier than I was yesterday. Full of boogers lol. Thats a good sign though. Means we're on the finishing end of this. Taking today off, it's meant to be my strength training day but what a joke that would be. Tomorrow I'll go for a walk/run and then the day after do some strength training. Hopefully my muscles will work by then. We have unbelievably good weather for this time of year in Southland, so I look foward to getting out for my walk. A lot to be happy about today!

ARRRRGH

2007-05-28T03:04:00.000-07:00

ARRRGH! Honestly, I am so sick of being sick. I try to make the best of it but (what the hell, my text is all underlined and I have no idea how to get rid of it because theres no little icon to click on?) Anyways. Sick of being sick. This is why my blog is going slowly. I just did a mini makeover of my house today. I really need a bigger house. There just isn't enough room. I'm going crazy. Rearranging furniture can only do so much. So here's a quick run down of things. One of my best friends just had her second baby...on her hallway floor! She's doing well and had a baby boy. I've been sick for the past 3 or 4 days and am ready to breathe again, my daughter has her school visit tomorrow and will be wearing her uniform for the first time. I've found a tonne of old friends on bebo and it's actually been interesting. I've decided I need to paint some more things for my house so that's what I'm going to do, amongst painting for everybody else out there. Trying my best to stay healthy but the past 3 days...wooooooo....

That'll do for now. This underline thing is ridiculous. Just like the no spacing thing!

WOO HOO!!!

2007-05-23T14:13:00.000-07:00

I lost 1kg this week! AND 5cm off my hips. I can also run most of my route in the morning. I shocked myself today. It wasn't hard, it wasn't tiring, it was just nice and felt like a normal workout. This is awesome. I'm going to have to start doing more soon. I'm meant to be doing 45-1hr in the morning but I haven't had enough time so only get in 20-30mins. I'll have to sort that out. Our savings are also looking good. Definitely going in the right direction! I'll give an actual amount next week or the week after. So let's get to it.

24th May 2007

Neck: 36

Chest: 98.5

Abs: 87

Waist: 91

Hips: 101

Thigh: 53.5

Calf: 39

Bicep: 35

Total weight loss to date: 21kg
(Since August 2006)

Oh yeah, my chunky thighs also went down a bit since last time. 2.5cms. Awesome. So I lost 7.5 cms off my body in 20 days and 1 kg in a week, which isn't that bad this far into things. All the other measurements were either the same or up but I'm used to this. I usually only either lose weight or cms in a weigh in, not usually both. Very happy with todays weigh in.

She's Finished!

2007-05-22T20:58:00.000-07:00

YAAAAAY! Today I finished another painting. Yes I've been doing a lot of painting lately. Today's finished painting I began work on last Friday I think it was. I decided to take photos of the sequence for fun so I guess I'll post them up now. I sketeched her first because the canvas was so large. I forgot to take the first photo before I began painting so her nose is black hehe.

Ok, so I missed a few photos. It's hard to stop when you're 'in the zone' and remember other things like it's time to take a photo but you get the jist of it. This piece was created as part of a fortnightly theme challenge that the NZ Art Guild have and this was the first time I didn't have a tonne of things on and I really liked the theme choice so I decided to join in. I had ideas like bees and pollen, dandelions blowing in the wind, the earth, animals and a tonne of pregnancy ideas but I only had enough time to make one seeing as this one is so large and I still had a few others things on, I figured one was enough.

Title:"Conception of a Mother"

Artist: CTTK

Medium: Acrylic on canvas

Size: L=100cm x W=80cm

The theme was 'Conception' and the idea was - During the nine months it takes for a child to be created and formed ready to enter this world, that is the time the same time the conception of a Mother takes place. Alongside her is a quote that reads: "Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." ~Elizabeth Stone

I got so wrapped up painting last night I was up late and slept through my walk this morning. I'll do better tomorrow.

Bloggers spacing is all messed up and it's ticking me off.

I sent off my WAX paintings today and also a painting I sold the other day. I am tired. I'm relaxing the rest of the day.

Tying Up Loose Ends

2007-05-22T01:25:00.000-07:00

Thats what the past few days have been for me. I've been finishing off paintings and gathering bits and pieces. It's all pretty tiring. It doesn't seem like much but the intense concentration needed really drains you when you finally stop. I have a tonne of listings on trade me right now so if anyone want's some affordable art for their home or office or as a gift, or you know someone having a baby check out this link http://www.trademe.co.nz/Members/Listings.aspx?member=741360 . This is how I'm raising the money to go see my family remember, so if you like it, bid! Don't get suckered into buying those mass produced artworks that are everywhere on trademe and actually come from a factory in china...I'm serious, they're everywhere on there. The one's that have similar styles and a whole tonne of listings, they're not actually artists. They're just some mass producing factory under a few alias'. Support a real New Zealand Artist, not a Scam Artist.

Speaking of which, finished a little painting today. I think it's cute. Very simple because thats how I wanted it.

I did my strength training today. Did pretty well. Would have been a whole lot easier if my kids had slept at nap time but somethings in the water and no-one slept. Found out I'm stronger than I thought. My lightest weight was 5kg. I'm really sore again. I hope all of this pays off.

I'm feeling a bit defeated. Totally the wrong attitude so I'll check this one at the door tonight and get a new one for tomorrow. I don't even feel like an artist. I guess it's because I have no idea what to call my style. Everyone else seems to fit into a category so easily and I can't even figure out how to describe my work. There are so many realism artists and I think their work is amazing, I wish I could paint like that but I can't. I can sketch it ok but when it comes to actually painting it my mind doesn't see it, it kind of zeroes in on one place and thinks of colours and positioning thus eliminating any possiblity of creating an exact portrait of anything. I love it but in some ways it does bug me. Nevermind, now that I've typed it out I feel stupid. My style is just different, not wrong, just different.

As you can see, I'm struggling today. I need a good dose of positive thinking. I have a walk/run in the morning so hopefully that will help clear my mind and brighten my mood.

We bought my daughter her school uniform today. Its really cute (well maybe not) but I can't wait to see her in it. She goes in next week to have her 'school visit'. She's so excited. I'm about ready to cry lol. 5 years has passed so quickly. Who would think I'm old enough to be the mother of a 5 year old. Crazy. My baby is teething and he's extremely cranky and clingy. He's also up at all hours of the night. This may be part of the reason my moods out, not enough sleep. As for the middle child, he's flying under the radar at the moment and keeping a low profile. Yay.

I have another busy day ahead of me tomorrow with sending off paintings and buying more materials. Also need to pick up a present for the little girl next door. She's also turning 5 and her birthday party is this weekend. I'm off to paint. I have a painting I'm about 1/3 the way through that I really want to finish on time so I better get to it.

Things From My Day

2007-05-21T02:32:00.000-07:00

I really should have blogged earlier when my mind wasn't so tired and I had a lot to say. Now it's 9:30 and I'm yawning away just wanting to get to sleep. I guess my body has adjusted to going to bed early. Today I began 4 paintings, finished two, one which was an older painting, not one I began today. I also got up early, which was very hard to do. I went for a walk with the intention of only doing a slow walk because my muscles are so sore and I was so tired but I managed to find the energy to jog most of the way home. It seems each day I can jog a little bit further, yay. Well, today I jogged, most other times it's running. Morning walks are still refreshing even if they're hard. Tomorrow is strength training day so I get to have a cookie again, woo hoo! I've gone a few days without wanting anything sweet but tonight a chocolate craving kicked in so I'll just fill the void tomorrow. Well, thats about all I can think of for today. Told you I should have blogged earlier when I had things on my mind. Here are the 2 paintings I finished today. The first is called Infinite Dreams and the second, The Tender Art of Love. They'll both be listed on Trade Me tomorrow and clear coated.

Sunday, Blessed Sunday

2007-05-20T03:03:00.000-07:00

Who ever said God doesn't hear prayers? Mine certainly heard all my desperate pleas lately! Thanks goodness too I was dying from the suspense. You're all probably wandering what on earth I'm talking about. It would take me a million years to explain everything but just know things worked out for me today and I am SO happy.

It was my turn to teach again today. I was super tired, even when I was just speaking with friends I was getting tongue tied and constantly yawning, so I was a bit scared I'd draw a complete blank come time to share my lesson. I had one pause but excused myself and gave everyone a bit of a giggle. They all just smiled politely back and someone mentioned that they felt the same way today so it was nice to be supported. No harm done. Other than that the lesson went great with everyone participating and distributing. I think it was something we all needed to hear. It was about forgiveness. It was a pretty hard lesson to give, pretty harsh too. I know this is something very personal but I felt we were all united and honest and came away with a better understanding on how to deal with situations that build up bitterness in our hearts. I realised I have a bunch of wonderful women in my class. I really like being their teacher. They were even excited before I told them i was teaching. A few of them came up all excited asking if I was teaching today and how they were looking foward to it. Afterwards others stayed behind to talk and give me a hug and say how much they enjoyed my teaching. So far so good. A lot of positive feedback. I had a great Sunday at church, which was actually a surprise to me because it's been so long since I had one of those lol. I think I'll be enjoying every week from now on though.

I listed all my babys old clothes on Trade Me today. That was hard. I can't believe how fast he's grown. I LOVE little baby clothes. It breaks my heart to get rid of them but they're just taking up space and I am trying to raise money after all so I may as well get rid of them. I have till I'm 25 to get one more baby in and seeing as I'm only turning 23 next month, I figure I don't really need baby clothes hanging around.

I better get to sleep. I'm dragging my feet and not wanting to wake up early in the morning. Ugh! Wish me luck.

Exercise is Good, Sweat is Gross

2007-05-18T15:10:00.000-07:00

As I sit here typing out this blog I am covered in sweat. I just finished walking/running and stretching and am now just trying to cool down before attempting to stand for a shower. Today was the most intense workout yet. I'm not talking about the actual walking/running part of it, although i did run a bit more than I have before, i'm talking about when I finished. As soon as I was done I stopped at my front door did 2 quick loud knocks because that's all I could managed to do and leaned against the wall. I had to physically hold myself up on that wall because I had stopped moving and my legs weren't gonna work for me anymore. I stood there trying to concentrate on staying upright and catch my breath while I waited and wondered if hubby had even heard my knock. He did, so he opened the door and let me in while I grabbed the closest seat and shed my jumper (it's like 5 degrees outside). That brings us to now. I think that was a good start to the day. Next comes a nice warm shower. Then a whole lot more 'must do' things for the day. Even on the weekend we don't get a break!

I meant to update yesterday but got so carried away painting I didn't get a chance. I finished that second painting for WAX! Yay. I like this one more than the other. So heres a look at it. I still have to add it to my website. Yet another thing I have to do today.

Oh and by the way, I earned myself that cookie yesterday! Sooooo worth it.

I Didn't Eat That Cookie

2007-05-17T03:48:00.000-07:00

When trying to shuffle all life has for you, it's very possible to forget to take time out to breathe. I was faced with the choice of either giving up shopping night and not being able to eat an extremely well planned balanced menu for a day or exercising. All day I thought the exercising was going to win but in the end, the food did. This is probably a good thing.

Getting enough food into my system is my major downfall so hopefully the choice I made today will help me through the next few weeks. I've been instructed that it's ok for me to enjoy something not so healthy straight after a high intensity strength training session so I prepared this evening and bought myself a triple chocolate chunk cookie. A few months ago I had completely weaned myself from these things but right now, it's all I can think about! I got home from getting the groceries and that cookie was right at the front of my mind.

I decided to sit down and watch the finale of the Biggest Loser (my fave midweek motivation) and hopefully surpass the craving. No such luck. It's past my designated bedtime and I'm still thinking about it! Actually, maybe that's why I'm thinking about it. I have promised myself though, that as soon as I have worked my butt off doing my strength training tomorrow, I can have that cookie. I am sooo looking foward to my reward. Yay for a plan that invloves a naughty treat for us normal people that can't go forever without eating anything bad! This thing just keeps making more and more sense.

Be proud with me. I resisted temptation and have a goal to reach tomorrow with an instant reward. A reward that will burn right off and leave no tell-tale signs of ever existing. YAAAY!

Today I finally managed to get my profile to Denita to put on her website. So here is that link. http://www.paintpit.com/site/page.php?14 . I'm very excited to be a part of that site. There is so much information on there for artists and a lot of great people too.

Still Going For It

2007-05-16T03:20:00.000-07:00

Just a quick update because it's almost my bedtime. Part of this new weight loss thing is getting to bed at 10:30 and its 10:20 right now. My legs are killing me. Honestly, they're reeeally sore. It's my quads. I'm used to having sore hamstrings but my quads are absolutely aching from all the walking, jogging and running. It's a good sore though so I'm happy to have the ache. 3 days in and still working at being good at waking up early. It takes 21 times for something to become a habit so 3 days down, 18 more to go. Eating a lot, it's weird but I do notice how much easier the day is for me. I especially love the morning eating. I have all the family around and thats really nice. Tomorrow I have my first new strength training session and I can't wait. Oh man, I'm gonna be sore! The Biggest Loser Finale is on tomorrow too.. W00 h00! Shopping day too. Ok 10:25 now. Better get to bed. Be back tomorrow because I can...my PC is fixed, yay!

Just Do It

2007-05-14T00:13:00.000-07:00

This morning I managed to get myself up and out of bed at 6:15am. This is huge for me because if anyone out there knows the real me, you'll know how hard it is for me to operate in the morning. I set 2 alarms last night. See... I know me. I'm the type of person that hears the alarm, hits the snooze button and then rolls over and repeats this about a dozen more times. I'm happy I set 2 alarms because one didn't go off.

Last post I mentioned my cousin. He's been emailing me a lot of great information so I now have a whole new workout routine and meal plan. I'm still reading and re-reading the last email I got because it has so much information I can't digest in just one read. Today was my first day at this new plan and I have to say, today has been one of the best days in a while. I had some weird pelvic cramps thing happening early in the morning after my workout but I took some pain relief and it all went away thankfully. Other than that my day was great. Quiet, no stress, cold outside but warm inside. Even in the morning when I headed out for a walk/jog at 6:30am the weather had calmed down for me.

Southland is pretty busy at 6:30am. Tonnes of 4WD out on the roads. It's a bit freaky because it's still dark and we're just heading into winter now but it's a lot safer here than my last neighbourhood. In fact I can barely even compare them to each other, the differences are so significant. I rolled out of bed after waiting about 4 minutes after my first alarm went off. I had set my cell phone to go off 3 minutes earlier than the clock radio alarm because I figured it was quieter and would wake me up enough to know to get out of bed and turn off the really loud alarm so not to wak everyone up. It also meant I had two chances to get my butt moving and that makes it really hard for me to have an excuse as to why I didn't exercise.

The walk was calming. I started with a brisk walk and then somehow managed to jog most of the road home. I was pretty sore but I'm determined to learn to run and have stamina so I pushed myself pretty hard. I was meant to go for 45mins but I couldnt get the time on my phone to show up so I had no idea how long I'd been going for and the route I planned only ended up being 1/2 an hour long. I'll figure out a new route tonight.

When I got home I felt so sick to my stomach I wanted to throw up. Then about a minute later my legs went wobbly and I fell to the floor in my bedroom. It sounds bad but it was a good thing for me. It meant I'd done what I was out to do, I pushed myself to the limit. I really like that feeling. Thats probably why I'm still going on this journey! The rush I get when I achieve something. I'm looking foward to tomorrow morning. Freaking out about the weather but praying like anything I don't have to go out in rain or hail or these horrible winds. Bring on summer..lol, winters not even here yet!

I'm determined. I will succeed. I'll just do it.

Timing

2007-05-11T22:39:00.000-07:00

I've been at this weight loss thing since August 2006. It's not just about losing weight, I don't by any means want to become a skinny fat person like so many people do. I am after a complete body transformation. I want to be very lean, fit and strong, not just slim. When I first started out on this journey I had my husband and my brother losing weight with me. They did really well losing about 17kg each from August-December. They're doing their own thing now and I'm still struggling away trying to lose 1/2 my body weight.

I got an email from my cousin the other day. He lives in America now and is married and they have a son. They just finished a trip back home to visit family and so they sent through some photos of everyone. As I looked through the photos I remembered that my cousin is an extremely good source of information. Not only has he reshaped his own body, he is a personal trainer, rugby coach, model and tae kwan do master. Why the heck didn't I ask him for some advice?! His job is to get people into shape and obviously, by looking at what he's done for himself, he knows what he's doing. So I sat down and wrote him an email asking for some help. To my excitement I received a reply email from him today. He said he was happy to help and went through some questions he asks all of his clients. I answered as best I could and now I can't wait to hear whats next. I think we're going to communicate regularly via email now. I have somebody that knows me, that knows nutrition and specialises in the reduction of a clients body fat levels while maintaining lean muscle mass, which is exactly what I want! I create my own menus but have asked for a sample menu from him and gave him a run down of my exercise programme and also asked for instruction on that. He says he has a lot more things to offer and I can't wait. This is great timing. Seeing as this week was my worst week ever on this weight loss journey, I really needed someone to guide me through what to do next. I will do whatever is needed. I NEED to do whatever is required. I just took some photos today and can't stand them. I'm so over feeling like this. Onwards and upwards!

Inspirational Words

2007-05-11T04:44:00.000-07:00

The song goes 'You must not know about, you must not know about me". It's actually about a guy that's been cheating but I somehow manage to tune out all the other lyrics and only hear "You must not know about me!" This is my theme song. I must listen to it at least a half a dozen times a day. I always apologise to my hubby because I swear he's sick of it but I can't help it. Those words really get to me. They really empower me. I hear them and just think, yeah, they just don't know about me, I better get to showing and telling them. If I don't tell them, who will?! Now that probably makes no sense to a lot of people but for me it gets me to this state where I feel invincible and I'm completely ready for whatever the world wants to throw at me. It reminds me of my personal goals and growth and helps me re-establish my focus. It makes me remember the people that are just sitting there, waiting, wanting and wishing for me to fail. These are not imaginary people. I bet you have a few of your own. We all know who our critics are. "You must not know about me" makes me think, if you think I'm going to fail, you're dead wrong, you just keep watching and I'll show you the real me, then you'll know alllll about me! Thanks Beyonce. I always wondered what my theme song was.

I had a good day today. If you read my last few posts you can see how crappy I've been feeling lately. Just basically worn out in every which way possible. For the first time in a long time my Hubby worked from home just to keep an eye on me and help out with things. The extra hands were great. He basically just worked all day, as he should but he was able to help with lunches and baby which is just what I needed.

I got back to the gym today! My body was shaking after the workout. I felt weak. Not tooooo bad because I still managed to do lat shoulder raises or whatever they're called and I seriously dread doing those. You miss a workout or two and those get really hard to do! I make the dumbest facials doing them haha. Thank goodness there are only the regulars there on a Friday night. I think they've adjusted to my weird habits. The facials, toe tapping and finger tapping, head nodding and whatever other habits I have when listening to music.

We've decided to not have a garage sale. Instead we're going to sell all the stuff in the garage on Trade Me so instead of us having to negotiate lower prices, people just bid higher. Simple logic really. Also takes a whole lot of pressure off us. We start tomorrow!

Still haven't started painting #2 for WAX. I really can't wait to get it done though. I'm dying to just paint what I want, when I want.

Oh yeah! Just remembered, my business cards arrived today! They are awesome. I love them.

Ok, think that's all I've got for the day. Its 12:13am and I'm super psyched up and excited to get losing weight and raising money for Auckland. I think I'll read a book. Don't forget...MOTHERS DAY ON SUNDAY! Thats actually a little reminder to myself. I'm useless at remembering dates.

What's Going On?

2007-05-10T04:26:00.000-07:00

I am thoroughly confused today. I'm having A LOT of trouble keeping my eyes open. I have a huge headache all the time, not very hungry, extremely tired and worst of all...moody. I'm not usually an overly grumpy person. I just don't like being like that. Today though...wow, look out. I would say I was PMSing but the timing is so off. The only other time I'm like this is when I'm pregnant but well, lets not go there! 3 for now is juuuust great. I had planned to go to the gym, got all dressed and everything but then got so worn out by my kids I just couldn't even consider moving. I really hate skipping workouts. In fact this has been my worst week since August for working out. Yep, the last time I exercised was Friday! Guess what day it is tomorrow... FRIDAY! One whole week. Talk about slacking. Tomorrow's a new day and I'll be back on board.

I went and picked up a few groceries tonight. I needed a new water bottle so picked one up. I love the Waiwera water. The bottles are very sleek and the water goes down very easily. It basically has no taste. Definitely my favourite water. I also picked up this new bread I read about in some health magazine and it is reaaally yummy. We just toasted a little bit and spread some hummus and that was that. Quick and easy. Also restacked the fruit bowl. Thank goodness mandarins are back in season. Bananas were reasonably priced today as well. My hubby picked up some kindling for the fire and brought home 2 milo bars. I'm happy to say I wasn't even tempted one little bit. It seems as though he wasn't either because neither of us ate them.

We have moved the exercise bike back out into the open so now if I'm bored I can just jump on and ride again. I like to use it in the mornings or just after lunch when kids are at kindy or napping. I either put some music on or watch Dr Phil lol. I totally need a bigger house. Somewhere with enough room for 2 adults, 3 or more kids, visitors, art studio, office, 2 living areas - 1 family 1 formal with room for a home gym and a whole lot of concrete outside to play basketball together. That would be bliss. The kitchen would have to be big too because we cook basically every meal at home and a bathroom with enough room that it could take all 5 of us in there at the same time would work a treat. Ok, time to focus. I can totally have that house in a year if I really want. Just stay focused.

I didn't get a chance to read last night but I did wake up and read first thing. It was peaceful. I enjoyed it. What I wouldn't give to just have 1 day of quiet. I have to say it. I am exhausted. I am happy with my life but I am sooo tired! I suppose it doesn't help that I'm typing this at 11:45pm. Included in tomorrows plan is to get paintings packed up and shipped off. Go to the gym. Watch Americas Next Top Model and get to painting piece #2 for WAX. I'm trying not to make things too complicated for tomorrow because I can imagine I'll still be tired! On the weekend, who knows what'll happen. I have a tonne of small things I need to sort out. One day at a time.... Send me some positive vibes because I'm needing them!

Good News

2007-05-08T22:25:00.000-07:00

I'm still in for next months exhibition! YAY! The lady I've been talking with was really nice about it. I've been updating my website today and trying to relax. Here's a link to the latest additions. http://www.freewebs.com/chavahkinloch/sketches.htm
Can't wait till I have my own name as the domain addy, is that what it's called? I think so. I'm so computer illiterate. Thank goodness I'm married to an I.T. not so geek, geek. I have also been chatting with a wonderful artist from Wanganui named Denita and joined up on her website. It's an awesome site so check out the link and sign up for regular updates! http://www.paintpit.com/ .

I had a few auctions finish the past few days and I am happy to say they went well. Ever since we got back from Queenstown I've been in 'the zone'. Getting away really does bring inspiration. Although, I am still trying to figure out what I'll take to Queenstown. I have 2, maybe 3 pieces in mind but I want more like 6-8. I have some pieces I want to touch up tonight so that's what I'll be doing. Then tomorrow I'll be free to create another masterpiece! It will be #3 in my Dream series. I need to get that finished for WAX. I am loving being an Artist.

I am having a few problems trying to find balance at the moment. I have 3 great things that basically need all my attention and thats not including my home and family responsibilities. I'm talking about being an Artist, losing weight to fit into those size 12 jeans for Christmas and raising $3000 by July 31st. I still believe I will accomplish my goals but I will admit that I am struggling with 2 out of the 3 things right now. Tomorrows a new day. I'm going to read something to lift my spirits before bed tonight and wake up in the morning confident and with a plan of action. Yay, I'm already looking foward to it. First things first though, my Aunty will be calling for a chat session in an hour or so, so I'm just going to keep relaxing for the evening. Today has been a good day.

Forgot to Add...

2007-05-08T04:32:00.001-07:00

The painting is called Beyond the Dream and is #2 in my Dream series. It also hasn't been clear coated yet. Also, sorry the photos are so huge! It's late and I'm really tired from painting all day and kids and cleaning etc and just don't feel like resizing the pics. I'm sure you'll survive!

On a Role

2007-05-08T04:21:00.000-07:00

I just finished another painting! I only have enough time (and energy) to post up the pics. It's meant to be for WAX - Womans Art Exhibition - being held in Gisborne in June on Queens Birthday Weekend but I just realised my fee was meant to be paid by Saturday just gone! Ugh, silly me. I have just emailed to ask if its too late. The say I'm registered and are expecting my paintings but then I go and get the dates mixed up. I seriously thought the date for payment was the 29th, same day the paintings were due. Hopefully I'm not too late. If I am I'll have to find something else to do with the painting, which shouldn't be too hard but I was looking foward to sending some friends that live in Gisborne along. Crossing fingers I haven't made too much of a fool of myself! Here it is.

Queenstown Trip

2007-05-06T18:30:00.000-07:00

Friday evening we packed our car full of our belongings to get ready for the trip to Queenstown. It was a beautiful still night and we couldn't wait to get on our way. My family waited patiently as I got in my workout for the day. Yes, even with all the excitement I still managed to exercise. I said I would, so I did. Hubby and kids picked me up from my workout and we headed straight out. You couldn't have asked for a better night. As we drove along I looked out the window and couldn't get over how beautiful this country is. The gigantic mountains were just black shadows against the blue black sky but it was absolutely amazing.

We arrived at my brothers place around 10pm with 3 children sleeping but that didn't last long. One stayed asleep and went straight to bed while we allowed the eldest and youngest to have a look around the place and adjust. My daughter soon discovered that Uncle Daniels house had a bundle of stairs she could go up and down, as well as a few 24hour cartoon channels, so obviously, she was in Heaven. My brother, who's 25th Birthday we were there for, had pulled out an extra mattress and placed it in the middle of the living room. My baby thought this was the BEST toy ever and spent most of his weekend bouncing up and down on the mattress throwing his hands up in the air and giggling.

The next day we took a trip to Kinloch for family photos. We thought, what better place to have a family photo when your surname is Kinloch?! That place is stunning and was definitely worth the drive. We spent forever skimming stones, well, not me, I'm not so good at the skimming thing but everyone else skimmed stones and boy did they skim. We're talking about 20 skims in one throw, it was insane how far these things were going. That was fun. Then we headed back to town for some lunch at the mall.

I had a look through some galleries while the guys took the kids to the British Lollie Shop and bought the mandatory Barrs Irn Bru. We were walking along the lakefront and my brother asked if I wanted to meet the lady he mentioned in the phone conversation we had, about 5 minutes before I had left home, the day before. He said he had spoken with a client and she might be was interested in seeing some of my artwork. I figured I had nothing to lose and I was in Queenstown with no immediate plans so we all headed over for me to meet this lady. He took us to her Salon & Beauty Shop on one of the main streets. He introduced us and the woman, Rhonda asked to see my website. After talking a while, as my brother got his hair cut, which I have to say is probably the best cut he's ever had in his life, I was getting myself a free manicure and blow wave, woo hoo!... we were heading out to a restaurant for my brothers birthday dinner straight after our visit there.

So now the really good news. She saw my paintings and thinks they're beautiful. So much so that I will now be displaying and selling my artwork in Queenstown. Yay!!! Some more exposure ... IN QUEENSTOWN. I can hardly believe it. A bit daunting but I love a challenge. So now I need to get painting painting painting. It's crazy the opportunities that keep popping up for me. I had been talking with my husband just last week and mentioned that my next move would likely be to approach a cafe or something of the likes to see if I could sell my paintings that way. Now I've had this thrown at me out of nowhere. So is this another example of the law of attraction? I like to think so.

We finished the trip on Sunday by going to church and seeing my Dad. He offered to take us out to dinner but we were heading home so couldn't accept, otherwise that would have been fun. To sum it up Queenstown was fantastic!

Now about the Ragitoto Exhibition. I'll just copy and paste what I wrote on my NZAG boards. Apparently I sold a piece BUT heres the problem. They listed 2 seperate paintings a 1 piece! I registered 3 pieces, including medium, measurements and titles and prices, I sent in 3 seperate canvases all marked and labelled clearly and I sent in 3 aunthentication certificates. So instead of selling them seperately they sold 2 of my paintings for one price! So unfortunately my pieces have not ended up selling due to not being able to do any negotiations on my own part. I completely understand that someone would want to buy them as a whole piece, (that was sort of the the idea) and would have loved the price they were getting it for so to be told something like, sorry, its twice the price you thought it was because it was labelled wrong, I get why they backed out in the end. It pisses me off though. I did everything right and they messed up and now we all lose out. No commission for them, no painting for the buyer and no money for me. Way to go Rangitoto! It has opened my eyes that people would be interested in that sort of painting as a pair and I might be able to use that to my advantage. I'm happy someone was interested but gutted about the whole situation.

I'm over that now. You live and learn! I have no doubt my paintings will sell. For now though my Mum has asked if she can hold on to them lol. I have told her she can have them for herself and she doesn't owe me any money but she insists that I sell them and she'll just 'look after' them in the meantime. I think it's cute. So I'll sell them and make sure I create something for a proud Mother. Last night when we got back from our trip, as soon as I had some energy, I got to painting. I had no plan and just painted. It was soooo refreshing. I finished that painting today and love it. I don't have perfect strokes or paint thickness in this painting but I love it. I think that's why I love it. I love the freedom I felt while painting it. So here we go. It's untitled for now and I'm still trying to decide what to do with it. I also haven't clear coated it yet.

It's Fab Friday!

2007-05-03T14:08:00.000-07:00

I am so glad it's the weekend. We're off to my brothers place in Queenstown for the weekend to spend his 25th Birthday with him. Man, can't believe he's 25. Means I'm not far behind! I'm a bit anxious because I still have quite a bit of painting to do for the upcoming exhibition in June and that means' I really don't have time to go have fun. Nevermind, family first. I think it'll be really good for us to get out of town for a few days. We're really looking foward to it. Of course we're only leaving AFTER I get to the gym hehehe.

I haven't worked out the past 2 days. Wednesday because I had this crazy stitch from nowhere that lasted all night and the next morning. So I used that as a good reason to paint like crazy. Then Thursday was shopping night and I don't go to the gym on grocery night because grocery shopping in itself is a workout I tell you!!!

We shop for a fortnight and there are 5 of us. When my brother stayed with us we had 2 trolleys full of stuff and you wouldn't believe the filthy looks we got! I'm the sort of person that NEVER has empty cupboards. I always have things on hand to bake up a tonne of food that can be frozen 'just in case'. Add to that toilet paper, laundry detergent (we're talking like 2 sometimes 3 bottles a fortnight not to mention some fabric softener!), shampoo and conditioner, bread, milk (this is a sight to see in our trolley we're talking like 9 2l bottles or 5-6 3l of milk!) but what do people expect? We entertain a bit and feed about 4 extra people each time, we use milk with cereal, shakes, baking, as a drink 2 -3 times a day for 1 or more children, we cook basically every day and rarely have takeaways. In fact I counted up to 8 weeks without a single bought meal. 5-6 meals a day cooked at home for 8 weeks. Thats a lot of food! So yeah, theres my mini rant about people staring at my trolley.

Oh yeah, one more thing, people actually laugh when they hear the price of grocries at the end too. They kind of give us that...OMG you totally can't afford this look but come on, if I couldn't afford it, I wouldn't buy it! This ticks me off. Why people think they know my financial status I will never know.

I can only imagine how crazy the shopping bill will be when I have 3 or 4 teenagers to feed on top of their big daddy and me of course! Add to that, 2 out of my 3 kids are boys and are already bigger than other kids their age and if their father and my brother are anything to go by, they will not be small men, I'm seriously gonna have to make a small fortune to feed these kids let alone do anything else for them! Wow. Don't know if I've actually thought about this before. I just remembered though...teenagers can work :P LOL.

In all reality in 10 years time I plan on being well on my way to financial freedom so small issues I had growing up like 'where's the food?' won't be an issue at all.

Ok. Time for a weigh in I guess.

4 May 2007

Neck: 36cm

Chest: 96.5cm

Abs: 87cm

Waist: 90cm

Hips: 104cm

Thigh:56cm

Calf: 37.5cm

Bicep: 32.5cm (woo hoo!)

Total weight loss to date: 20kg exactly

I am seriously hoping I'm still retaining a lot of fluid from that wonderful monthly thing us women get because I worked so damn hard at the gym the past week and a half. Minus the days I had off obviously. My eating was better with regular meals and less carbs (less, not none!) but once I got sick I stopped eating because I was too tired to move and think so I guess thats where my downfall was this week. I am happy to have lost 600grams and a few centimeters though. Some is better than none right? I'm not sure what I'll do tomorrow for a workout seeing as I'll be in Queenstown. Maybe some shopping? I always lose weight at Christmas time due to the amount of walking I do when I shop lol. So you see....it really is exercise hehe.

Quietly Comfortable

2007-04-30T04:52:00.000-07:00

Today has been a day of relaxing. Yesteday I wasn't feeling so great and today was used to continue getting better. I did nothing but look after children and paint. My house turned into a disaster with me not picking everything up every 5 minutes but I feel fine anyway. I almost gave in to not going to the gym for a workout but decided that since I didn't move at all yesterday and allowed myself a chocolate indulgence today that I'd better get to moving my butt. So I went and it was easy. Even with the 100 situps with the 5kg ball in the harder combo and the other 100 crunches that followed. I just really like exercise. I'm always startled by this fact because it wasn't so long ago that I wouldn't even dream of enjoying exercise again in this lifetime. Gosh, how things have changed.

My paintings arrived in Auckland today! The news has spread to more family that I'm painting. I'm happy they're getting a look into what I do though. I feel a lot more free. I can't wait to see them all at the end of the year. Now I hope I can sell some more paintings to get me there. *Thinking positive thoughts*.

The Love of Family

2007-04-29T03:05:00.000-07:00

I struggle expressing things to the closest people around me.
My family.
Yet I have no problems telling others how it is.

I'm still trying to figure that one out.

Its not that my family are incredibly rude or cruel to me. In fact I have a very loving family. They want the best for me and are quietly proud of me. So now I'm sitting here trying to figure out when it was that I became too scared to share my good news with them and why. This may take me a while but I know once I figure it out, I'll be able to move on. The reason I bring this up is because last night I intended to tell my family members about an exhibition I am taking part in. It's my very first one and I can't be there in person but they all live in the city its being held.

I'm hoping some of my family can go and have a look for me. Tell me what it was like, maybe get a photo or two. I ended up texting my Aunty. I thought maybe my Mum had mentioned to her I was going to be part of this fundraiser and done the inviting for me but my Mum hadn't said anything at all. I guess she was busy and it slipped her mind. I came to realise during my text messeges between my Aunt and I that none of my family know what I do. They know I like to get creative but had no idea I was moving foward with my painting. I am part of an awesome group, as everyone here already knows, that was created to help NZ artists. I have my own website to tell everyone about Me the 'Artist' and sell my work.....yet none of my family knew this?

I have just discovered an issue I really need to work on. I believe it will make me a stronger person to KNOW for sure that I have my family backing me. I tell myself they do and well, they probably do but they can't know what I don't tell them and it seems so silly for me to go around telling everyone else I'm an artist when I can't even tell my family.

So last night I sent an email. Addressed to my Aunty and Uncle, I told them all about what I've been up to. I invited them to go along to see my paintings and asked if they'd spread the word. I included a link to my website and they got to see the work I have for sale. I also told them about my plans for the year, how I was trying to face my fears and how I had convinced myself that nothing I did was ever good enough so now was my time to get over it. If nothing more, it let me show them that I care about having them involved in my life.

Well, today I haven't been feeling so great and had to have a nap. When I woke up my hubby said that I had a new email. I could barely see as I sat down to read it. My eyes were still trying to adjust to the light and the monitors' glare wasn't exactly a good way to ease into it. When I got through the haze I saw that it was an email from my Uncle. He spoke directly to me to tell me he was proud of me, he loved me and thanked me. I'm thankful for that. I have seen so much change in my Uncle lately because of his new outlook on life and it makes me really happy. I now wonder why I was so scared to tell them. Once again, its that fear of rejection coming into play. I learned a valuable lesson today. I learned that the love of family is priceless. Words can't describe how honoured I feel to know my family are proud of me. This little experience has taught me that I do need to believe in myself, I do need to be strong and continue to face my fears because the only thing that is holding me back from living the life I truely deserve, is myself.

This Is Great

2007-04-28T02:49:00.000-07:00

Two days ago I revisited my weight loss boards. I hadn't been there in a while and thought maybe it was nearly time for a new sign up for an 8 week challenge. I went on and found that I was too late! They've just begun a new challenge and I was too late. So imagine my delight when tonight on my art boards I come across a new topic about getting into shape via an 8 week challenge. With weigh ins, just like my old group! Do you think thats the law of attraction working in my favour again? If it is, great. I can't wait to get to know the other artists on the guild some more.

Wow, Am I Sore!

2007-04-27T22:43:00.000-07:00

Today was day 3 of my new workout. Each day is a new workout, 7 in total. 2 core, 2 upper body and 2 lower body. Oh yeah and one just cardio..that equals 7 now hehe. So as of now I've completed 1 of each and let me just tell you...I hurt! My body feels like jelly. I for some reason thought that tomorrow I got a day off but alas, I must keep going. I had better see some results this week because I am certainly feeling the burn! I've enjoyed each workout though. This will definitely keep me going.

I've sent off my art works for the exhibit so heres hoping that goes well now. I also have some new artwork listed on trademe. I got a new comment on my website from a person thats bidding on one of my auctions currently and for motivational purposes I'm gonna post it here too. Her timing was perfect. I was feeling really nervous and unsure about myself so this was a nice boost to keep me afloat.

I have to say that your paintings are beautiful, I myself dont know much about paintings but out of all the ones I have looked at via trademe yours have stood out the most to me. I hope you have great success with painting and wish you all the best for the the future.

Now some people are just too sweet aren't they? That would cheer anyone up I'm sure. All going well I should have some money to finally start upping our Auckland fund!

New Workout

2007-04-26T00:11:00.000-07:00

Day 1 of New workout = awesome!!!! Got that machine moving faster than I've ever done before!! tried out the new 'core' exercises and damn, they don't look like much but I'm already feeling the burn. YAY.

Moving On

2007-04-25T19:05:00.000-07:00

Today I have been motivated to get moving. I woke up and got in 20 minutes cardio. Not much but enough to get the heart rate up for a little bit. I also decided that today was as good a day as any to finally take a step at reaching another mini goal I've had for a while. I want to learn to skip. Ok so I didn't forget HOW to skip or anything but I used to be able to skip for hours a day or at least skip fast for a high intensity workout. So today I tried. It wasn't so bad but there was none of that really fast skipping, just a double jump. I've attempted it twice today, a few minutes at a time. I figure a little at a time and it'll slowly get better and faster and longer. Its quite fun really. I am thinking I'll invest in a better quality rope thats suited for my short self hehe. I have to wrap my one around my hands a few times because its too long. I've been doing houseowork which also burns some good calories and tonight I have a new workout plan for the gym! I'm really looking foward to it.

Eating is also back on track thanks to finally getting a fortnightly menu together again. I am absolutely determined to look good when I see my family again. I seriously think they're only expecting me to lose like 5 kgs then put it all back on again. Since this time last year I've lost 40kg, I believe I mentioned that earlier and since August it's been almost 20kg (400grams short!) Like hell I'm putting that weight back on!!! The last time I saw one of them was december and I've lost quite a bit since then. I actually don't tell them I lose weight anymore. I mean, they know but I don't give them details. I can hear you asking why. The reasons are listed below:

1)My efforts never seemed to be enough(sound familiar?) eg: My arms were still too flabby. There I was sitting thinking wow I've lost weight! then all I could concentrate on was how my arms are just so yucky because thats all the feedback I got. I agree that they are flabby but I already knew that and work damn hard on the problem so why you gotta bring that up?!? They look just like my european grandmothers! I'm not taking some miracle drug thats gonna make my arms turn into jessica biel styled biceps overnight! I'm doing it the old fashioned way with exercise, eating right and a whole lot of effort!

2) It turned into a competition. I do have a competitive streak, a pretty big one but this wasn't intended to be a competition between me and them. This was a goal for me to meet and have my own glory in at the end of it. When my family decided to jump on the band wagon I thought, yeah cool, thats great but then it turned into 'oh such and such has lost this much', 'oh we're eating this and that' and I no longer had anyone to support me in my little victory. Selfish huh? You'll understand where I'm coming from when you decide to lose half of your body weight though :P

3)I want to make their jaws drop and stick it to them....in a loving way. There are so many stupid reasons why.

and finally

4) I want them to know that they can do it too. I want to get to the end result and be an inspiration for them to not just start a healthier lifestyle but to keep going when it gets hard and really reach that goal of a happy healthier you.

So there we go. Thats why I don't tell my family what I'm up to when it comes to something this important. I wish I could but it makes my heart sore trying to explain everything and end up with a few half hearted 'thats good, today at work...' comments. It's ok though, I have plenty of friends supporting me and my hubby and kids are wonderful about it. My children are always asking if I'm off to the gym and my daughter wants to join me when shes older hehe. I look foward to that. See...the wheel is set in motion already, my kids like healthy food and enjoy exercise! I love my little cheerleaders.

I hope I haven't offended my family to much. I really do love them.

Ok and just for a laugh heres my flabby arms. They're actually really solid to touch, that line across my arm is muscle definition just so you know lol. Just wish I could get rid of that saggy oprahness!

Saatchi Gallery

2007-04-24T04:52:00.000-07:00

I forgot to mention that I was told about this online gallery for artists of every sort so I decided to join up. Here's that link http://www.saatchi-gallery.co.uk/yourgallery/artist_profile/Chavah+Kinloch/33864.html . Just don't go comparing me to the experts ok!

Busy Busy Busy

2007-04-24T03:20:00.000-07:00

Life doesn't give me much of a chance to sit back at the moment. In fact i should be doing something else right now but I've been focused on getting my website sorted so that's what I've been doing instead. I'm happy with the end result. Heres the updated look http://www.freewebs.com/chavahkinloch/abouttheartist.htm .

I should be painting. I should be wrapping up my paintings to send off to Auckland. Instead I'm updating you guys :P.

Today was a pretty stressful day to be honest. First week back at kindy for my 2 eldest kids. One went back yesterday, one today and we're still trying to break out of holiday mode. Doesn't really help that tomorrows another holiday! Although I'm pretty happy because it's my 4th wedding anniversary! Now who's the clever lady that decided to get married on a smaller scaled holiday to get the day off and still have shops open? ME everybody! That would be me. Yes me. I'm the clever lady. No idea what we're doing but it doesn't really matter. Usually we at least have some sort of idea what we'll do but all we have so far is hubby cooking a nice dinner. That's a pretty decent treat right there though. It's just a bit silly because we're trying to lose weight and his cooking is sooo good! Speaking of which i went to the gym today. I really didn't want to but realised that's exactly when I need to go the most. I have a sore throat, had it for a few days now so exercising was a little painful in the breathing/swallowing department but I made the effort anyway.

Why is it that my workout is seeming really hard for me? Well, parts of it anyway. I need to investigate the reason. I'm also gonna come up with a new workout plan. I've seriously been dragging my feet. My best just isn't cutting it at the moment. I have been run down and pretty exhausted lately but I need to find a way to cope with it. I don't need excuses. Excuses don't get results. So my goal for tomorrow is to come up with a new exercise plan. I'll update you on that tomorrow at some stage.

Life is fine. My babys trying to walk. He can get about 6 steps in now and can stand himself up off the floor without anything around him. Its cute to watch him figure everything out. He lunges for things when he thinks he's about to fall. its scary but funny. Ok...that was a bit mean to say but it's seriously cute. This is always a fun stage. He's walking a bit later than my other two but I'm really happy he's only just learning because in my head he's still too little to walk! Hmmm desperate mother trying to keep her baby a baby syndrome I think. I'll snap out of it.

Having a bit of a hard time keeping my spirits up at the moment. I think its hormonal because it comes in waves?!?! Everything's pretty good right now though. Yesterday was my hardest day but I was walking around like a zombie due to lack of sleep so I think it's fair enough! Looking foward to having my new art pieces finished to work on my Polynesian Blood series. That seems like fun to me.

Still in the same position as before on the money side of things. I'm still not worried. Can you believe it? I swear I'm just crazy. We WILL have $3000 by July 31st 2007. We just will.

Thats it for now. Ciao.

3-2-1-None

2007-04-23T04:32:00.000-07:00

I finished the 3rd piece for my Golden Grasses series that's going to be exhbited in Auckland in May, today. FINALLY!. I'm so glad to have a break from painting grass. Not that I don't like the effect but I have so many more ideas I want to play with but I just don't have the time right now. So anyway, here's the last one. Yay!

Will update more when I'm not so exhausted.

I Did It

2007-04-19T19:39:00.000-07:00

I got to the gym at lunch time! My hubby wasn't so happy that I wanted to fit in a whole hour but oh well. He survived. It's not like I haven't spent the last week up late at night waiting for him while he's working from home. I think he can take an extra 10 minutes to let me get to the gym! I felt sooo weak today. Not a feeling I like. Even when I was pushing myself it was only mediocre, ugh. So tomorrow, I WILL DO BETTER. I will run until I'm out of breath, I will sweat like I've been trapped in a sauna for too long and I will love every minute of it. I AM going to lose this fat and gain the body of my dreams (minus the long skinny legs because that's just impossible without adding extra bone and a lot of surgery!)

In my last post a few hours ago, I ended it saying I needed some motivation. Can you BELIEVE that as soon as I stood up and left my PC the postie came. I opened my door and outside were 2 huge packages from my Mum. I opened the mailbox and inside was another package from my Aunty. I brought them all in and opened them up. My Mum had sent me some winter clothes for the children, something I always worry about now that we're in Southland, especially because all three of the kids have grown a tonne since last winter. Lately I have been trying to figure out how I was going to buy them new clothes when there was so much else we needed. This is a conversation hubby and I know very well. It always ends with 'It's ok, we'll find a way'. I decided last night to bite the bullet and buy the whole family new underwear and socks so this timing was impecable. We're all set now! In the package from my Aunty there was a letter. In the age of technology we don't often get mail sent through the postie anymore so when I saw she'd included some snail mail in her package I was delighted. My Aunty has this incredible knack of writing the most moving letters. Actually, my Mum does pretty well like that too. She filled me in on everything that was happening back home and mentioned my Nana and the temple. I suddenly remembered why I was doing all of this. I am chosing to live life to its fullest. I am testing out the law of attraction trying to see what is out there for me AND my family. For the ones that are here right now and don't know how long they've got. I want to show them that they've made a difference in this world. That because of their love and sacrifices good things have come about. I want to do it for the ones that are yet to come. My children, their children and any generations after that. I want them to know that they are important and can accomplish ANYTHING they set their minds to. That dreams can come true and you can make a wish become reality with a few simple steps. I want to better myself and this world and my family is the perfect place for me to start this. THAT is why I am doing this and THAT was the motivation I was desperately in need of. The law of attraction really does work.

I'm also going to share some of the beautiful comments I've had from people the past week or so. They're in regards to my Art which is slowly becoming more and more popular.

Wow!! I love your burning love series, the verse is amazing.

Hey love your work awesome!!

wow!!!

When art and verse in symmetry.Is warming for the eyes to see.And brought a little kindred smile. As stepped from cold, to browse a while!.Thankyou.. (I think this one is super cute and really nice that someone went to all the effort to write ME a poem!)

Great work!

Love your work.Thanks

Love the painting!!

Beautiful!

So I have my motivation back. I also just got an email about an exhibition for women artists being held in Gisborne. I decided yesterday to email them about some entries and they seem keen so hopefully this goes to the next stage. Think positively with me:P
Thats all for now. My bubbalugs needs to go to bed so I'm off to do that.

I'm Ready NOW

2007-04-19T15:21:00.000-07:00

I'm pottering around my house cleaning because that's what I do every Friday morning. All I really want to do is RUN! I, by the way...can hardly run. That is unless I'm on a cross trainer, then I can move-it move-it. I WANT to be at the gym, running. That is all I can think about. As it so happens I have no idea how I'm going to fit in a workout today? The gym closes early on Fridays and we have the Missionaries over for dinner tonight. I usually go to the gym at that time. I occasionally go to the gym at lunchtimes but I can only get in a quick workout due to hubby needing to get back to work. It sucks that my gym has no childcare because today I'd totally be using it! I may just go at lunchtime. If thats the only time I can do it, I may as well do it then. I also need to come up with a fortnightly menu plan so that I know where each meal is coming from and don't end up eating junk or buying takeaways!

Ok just messeged the hubby and he says sweet, go at lunch. Now I only have to wait 2 hours!

I need some more motivation!

Update on Today

2007-04-19T03:37:00.000-07:00

Got my Clear Kote spray, got my canvas, which is reeeeeally pretty, had to spend a bit more because they were sold out of the one I was going to use so got a locally made canvas from the Art store instead. I also bought some tape. It goes on the back of your paintings and pictures etc. I love it. I went around the house and tidied up the backs of all my paintings. One of my auctions closes soon. I also went to the gym and got my new membership. Stuck to the plan. Yay!

Latest Painting

2007-04-18T15:35:00.000-07:00

I forgot to mention that I also completed the painting I did to replace my original one intended to exhibit.. I haven't clear coated it yet because I've run out and have to pick some up at lunchtime today. Two down, one to go!

Discussing Things

2007-04-18T15:11:00.000-07:00

Last night we had our missionaries over for dinner. We sat around talking for a while afterwards and I brought up this blog and discussed what we were trying to do. Normally I'm not into talking about myself and what I'm doing with my life but there are times you should really do this. Putting the law of attraction to the test is one of the times, I believe, you shouldn't keep your mouth shut. Why? Because the more people that know about my plans, the more I'm pushed to ensure that they really WILL happen. I've learned this through my weight loss. Today I really feel like ahh well, stuff it, lets eat some pudding BUT I have told the lady that will be on reception that I will be in tonight to get a new membership. This is a good thing because it is very tempting to spend the money I could use on a membership, elsewhere, thus throwing away 1 of my goals and probably completely wasting my money on something I don't need. Telling somebody I'm going to be in tonight kinda makes me bound to go becuse she'll be waiting and watching to see if I'm just another fat person saying the right things to get off the phone or if I'm genuine. I consider myself very honest and genuine so you know I will be there tonight to get that membership. I asked the missionaries to keep asking us how we're going with our goals so that we feel the pressure. Sometimes I'm too easy on myself and can look for excuses and that's something I hope to learn to get over through this...although I think everyone in life could be in the same boat as me on this subject.

It's a beautiful day outside and one of my auctions is finishing tonight. I've already made a good profit on it so I'm pretty happy. Things are definitely still happening for the better. A few bumps in the road like mood swings and a little discouragement caused by my own fear but I'm managing to shove them out of the way and carry on with things. It's making me a much happier person. Really looking foward to the next few days!

Frustrations

2007-04-16T19:58:00.000-07:00

First of all I just need to vent my frustrations. I just completed a series of three paintings and called it my 'Burning Love' series. This is because they were centered around hearts (love), texture and poetry. Now... I ask you to go onto trade Me and browse all of the new artworks with hearts, texture and poetry that have suddenly become the in thing. I'm pretty
p*ssed off to put it nicely. It takes a lot of effort to come up wth original ideas and it annoys me to see so many people jump on my bandwagon to try to compete with me when they are blatent copies. ARRRRGH. Anything to make a quick buck I guess. At first it was flattering but now it's frustrating. Anyhow, I seem to be making a name for myself so people are still bidding on my stuff and not theirs (unless they're really cheap). My paintings are affordable enough as it is. I'll come out of this on top.

Anyway, I feel better now. Feels good to get that out. I'm working on getting a 'professional' look so bring on some business cards and other CTTK branded things. Yay! Found an awesome place so can't wait to get some stuff done. I'm seriously excited to do this.

My gym membership ran out on Sunday so on Thrsday I'll be getting a new one. My new gym pants also got caught on the kitchen doorway and put a nice hole on my butt so I also have to replace those. Ugh, more money on clothes...just what I need. Note I'm being sarcastic. I really hate spending money I don't have and although I will have the cash on hand, it would be better spent elsewhere...like my savings account!

I did go for a walk yesterday which was fantastic. I love walking alone. It helps me relax and clear my mind. The world really is beautiful. Tonight I plan on working out with my hubby. I also need to paint as I decided to sell one of the pieces I was going to exhibit because I came up with another idea for 2 of the 3 pieces I'm sending in. I can't wait to see the end result.

So yeah, life hasn't slowed down any. Kids are extra naughty today for some reason. Overtired maybe? My bubbalugs is looking absolutely cutie cutie today though and is giving his Mummy super smiles so I'm coping ok.

Conquering Fear

2007-04-15T00:57:00.000-07:00

Today was a great lesson for me. As you know I am an active mormon. Part of being LDS is holding a calling. I just got a new calling after having some time off to be Mummy to my, nearly toddler now, baby. My calling is to teach the women in the church every other Sunday. Now, I've never been a teacher. Heck, I've barely been a student! I left school mid 5th form as soon as I was legally allowed to at 16 and hadn't been at school a full week since I was 12. I haven't studied teaching and I've never really had to teach anyone. Today was my first time teaching these women. I was a little freaked but not too bad. That was until it was 15 minutes till I had to teach. Then all of a sudden my stomach became filled with butterflies and my heart started racing. I managed to get it under control, of course, after having a conversation with myself lol. I said, well, whats the worst that could happen? It's church after all. Then that was that. I grinned my cheesy smile and the world smiled back at me.

It came time for me to do my thing, so I did it. Boy, did I do it. I had everyones attention, everyones participation in discussions and I even made a couple of people cry. Now...the crying thing...thats in the good way. The 'oh you touched my heart' way, not the 'you cruel b**** way'. Just so we're clear.

We also had one of District Presidencies Mothers visiting with us and she loved it. When I was leaving to go home she was waving franticly at me hehe. She was really lovely, I hope to meet her again. In fact everyone in the room approached me as soon as the lesson was over and expressed how beautiful it was, how much they loved it and were very happy to have me teach.
So I guess I'm pretty good. Not to toot my own horn or anything...lol. Ok well yes. To toot my own horn, I conquered something today. I overcame my fear of teaching my peers. Turns out I'm not half bad. I really do surprise myself. It worked exactly how I imagined it would. THAT, I find crazy.

When I hadn't driven a manual car in years I visualised myself driving manual perfectly and surprised my very hard to impress car (and driving) enthusiast brother.

When I was terrified of giving birth again to my baby I visualised having a pain & drug free delivery and much to mine, my hubbys and my midwives amazement, I delivered just that way, so much so the midwives didn't realise he was about to come out and he dropped right out onto the bed (oops!).

When they told me I needed surgery AGAIN to stop my excess bleeding( I lost 3 litres of blood the baby before and was heading down the same road), I was so scared of the pain that I would have to go through getting a catheter put in, getting knocked out for a few hours and not being able to get to my baby for the next few days because of my own recovery. I felt the only thing I could do was believe I was fine. For four hours straight I sat alone in my room telling myself that I was healthy, my bleeding had slowed down and I no longer needed surgery. I saw myself healthy and moving around freely...not carting my own pee around with me!!!! I didn't do anything crazy. Just literally, recited positive affirmations to myself. The specialist arrived and announced that I was lucky and didn't have to go through with the surgery... or that nasty catheter.

So last night as I sat preparing and reading through my lesson plan I actually visualised the whole lesson go down as I wanted it to. To my amazement, the end result was the same.

It just goes to show how fear works. We get scared to put things out there, to try something we've never done before. But Why? Teaching isn't dangerous? Going back to school isn't going to hurt us? Moving cities doesn't mean the end of the world? What is it that we're actually scared of? I think the most likely answer would be 'rejection'. So what if the ladies today didn't like my lesson? I'll do better next time. So what if I failed a subject at school? I'll do better next time. So what if my friends and family think I'm throwing my life away by leaving the big city? I'll just show them how great life can be outside of the city.

If rejection is the worst that is going to get thrown at me, bring it on. It only makes me stronger. Just means I have to get more creative in my ways. You'd have to be a fool to reject me. (yep, I'm about to rant) I've got a pretty decent track record in everything I do! May not have shown up for school but still passed every test. May not have been rich growing up but still bought my first house at 18. I made as much money at 17 as some of the adult men I know do now. I always complained that I was the only one of my friends without a boyfriend but now I realise it's because I refused to date the dropkicks. Found myself pregnant at 17 and managed to find the good in it. I'm now married (and happily I might add), living life the way I want to. I proved to myself a few years back that my school track record means nothing in the business world as when I felt I 'needed' to work I was getting thrown a promotion within the first month. I'm not stupid like I had convinced myself I was. I REALLY wasn't stupid when I realised I was 20 and got along with the CEO's buisiness visitors more than anyone else in the company. These people deemed 'highly successful' were tracking ME down to talk. I must surely have something to offer this world if these 'highly educated and succesful' people were seeking ME out to make their day a little brighter. I learned a lot in my short stint back at work. I quit that job and went back to being a stay at home Mum because that is where I believe I'm meant to be at this time in my life. There was one big difference though. I no longer believed I was "JUST a Mum". I was "A Mother, carer, nurturer, guide and adviser. I put myself where I believe can make the biggest mark on this world. After I quit I also started studying Business Law and well for a high school dropout.... I made pretty decent grades with less studying than the old honour students I was up against while still being that full-time Mummy unlike anyone else in my class. I am now still a full-time Mum and loving it while working part-time as an Artist (from home) because I WANT to.

Life truely is what you make it. I keep learning this in sooo many different ways every single day. I love this challenge. I love the way it makes me live for the here and now. I love the qualities it brings out in me that I might otherwise have kept hidden, from myself, let alone the world. My advice to everyone reading is taken from a fairly popular book. "Feel the fear, and do it anyway".

Smiling Again

2007-04-11T17:31:00.000-07:00

I wrote a really great blog the other night and named it 'Still Smiling'. I went to publish it and my PC was being utterly stupid and I lost all the info I'd put up. I went to bed and got over it but I couldn't put up a post about Still Smiling anymore so I took a day off and I'm ready to Smile and put everything I can into this.

12 April 2007

Neck: 37cm

Chest: 99cm

Abs: 88.5cm

Waist: 91.5cm

Hips: 106cm

Thigh: 55cm

Calf: 38cm

Bicep: 34cm

Total Weight Loss to Date: 19.4kg

I seriously kicked my own butt this week. I sweat like no woman should ever sweat lol. I really don't care though and hope to go do it again. If I'm sweating it means I'm burning fat and thats what I'm out to do. So move over posers at the gym and let me show you how it's done! I lost another kg this week. I've almost reached my mini goal. YAAAAY! My entire body has ached for days but like I always say...I love the ache.

Total Savings to Date: $0

We had a few things pop up that needed the money. Ugh. I still believe we'll reach our goal. I have all year to save the money but I choose to have it saved by July! You still can't tell me I wont make it.

I just rejoined the NZ Art Guild. They've upgraded the way they run things and I like the new look. Check out www.nzartguild.co.nz if you're interested. I also just created my own website dedicated to my Art so also check out http://www.freewebs.com/chavahkinloch/index.htm . It's still a work in progress and needs a better photo of me, some more art work loaded and descriptions etc but for now it's fine.

It's Working!

2007-04-07T02:35:00.000-07:00

My first original post on blogger states that I wanted to do one simple thing. Put 'the secret' as it's now being labelled, to the test. After 1 month I am happy to say it is working. That seriously didn't take long at all. I believe it worked from day one. With still quite a ways to go it is easy to not give it much credit but the way I am feeling on the inside and the way I'm beaming and my life is reflecting on the outside, is pretty damn fantastic. We have no money troubles, I'm still gymming it and seeing results (honestly, my right arm has some pretty decent muscles, not to mention my behind is actully getting perky like the old days), I bought a pair of jeans today that were 2 sizes down from my last pair and when I was trying to find a pair to buy EVERY PAIR I tried on fit! I just chose the colour and cut I liked the most. I also got some new gym clothes which are bound to pump up the motivation. (I had to get some new clothes because everything's too big! 4 sizes down people. FOUR SIZES) My personal relationships with people are getting so much better (well aside from the one family a couple of posts back but I consider it good fortune on my part to not have to associate with them) My dad, my inlaws, my husband, my children, my old friends and my new friends...every relationship is improving. I thought a lot of them were already at the higher end of great. Now I look foward to knowing how great life can get. I seriously don't know how much further there is to go because lately, my life is wonderful. I just find it hard to imagine there could possibly be any more good to come to me when I have so much already. Life is soooo good to me. It's crazy.

It's easter weekend and this past week all five members of our family have been hit with an illness on different days. This has not had any negetive affects on us though. Everything has flowed on nicely.

Our family live away from the rest of our extended family and don't have anyone reliable or trustworthy enough locally to babysit our children so the kids great-grandparents offered to give us a night out tonight while they were in town. We happily accepted. The kids went to bed and didn't make a peep. Hubby and I got to go out to our favourite Turkish Kebab joint for dinner and then went exploring for somewhere to have Dessert and a Hot Chocolate. Amongst all the flashing neons and boozey pubs was a place that sat a bit further back, not as brighty lit. It looked quiet and not so Southland so we decided to stop there(sorry southlanders, I'm just missing home I guess). We were delighted to see that we were one of only 2 couples in the place and got seated next to an open fire. The more than slightly efiminate polynesian waiter greeted us, seated us, poured us complimentary water before even taking our orders, brought out menus, smiled, was polite and patient and I have to say, gave the absolute BEST service I have had in a very long time. To top it off our dessert was FANTASTIC and the prices were just as good. I have definitely found a new favourite place to dine. So much that I'm actually considering inviting people other than my family out to celebrate my birthday there with me- very unlike me. Yay for Louies Tapas.

So you see, life really is good to me! I love positive thinking. I love the way the world works when you look for the good in things and don't dwell on the negatives. I appreciate all the opportunities that arise that are so often missed when you let fear get the better of you. I'm also happy that things just seem to find a way of working theselves out, like a random visit from family when you're feeling extremely homesick and in need of a break. I'm so keen to see how this all plays out. Right now I don't ave a single doubt in my mind that I will reach my goals. I was born to succeed so that's what I'm going to do.

Getting on with it

2007-04-02T14:43:00.000-07:00

Ok here is an update on the weight loss and savings. I used to always do these on Friday, then moved to Saturday but these are happening in the middle of the week. I guess it's easier to remember when there's not so much going on. I'll have a think today about which day I will use permanently.

3 April 2007

Neck: 37cm

Chest: 102cm - I swear its my bra

Abs: 87cm

Waist: 94cm

Hips: 106.5cm

Thigh: 56.5cm

Calf: 38cm

Bicep: 34cm

Total Weight Loss to date: 18.6kg
The measurements are a bit strange but it is the week that they'll do that. Having been able to watch the measurements for a few months now they do go up sometimes but it all evens out in the end. The body is weird. Lost 1 kg this past week which I'm very happy with. Looks like I might be able to push through this plateau for good!

Total in Savings to date: $115
I should have more in savings by the end of the week once I get paid for some more of my art work. I should really be painting right now as I have heaps I need to get ready for different things - selling - exhibitions - birthdays - people emailing if I have anything else in my current series' for sale - friends. So yeah, I have a lot of work ahead of me. I've taken a bit of money from my sales to help get me some more gear, the leftover is going straight into the savings account. Things are beginning to take shape.

The World is Full of Crazies

2007-04-01T02:25:00.000-07:00

Oh my gosh..... Let me just start by saying I have a very strong testimony of my beliefs and the truthfulness of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and the fully restored Gospel of Christ. Without this, I don't know how I would get through a lot of things in life and today, I am eternally grateful for being the strong young woman that I am. I know I have my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ to thank for pulling me through my hard times.

I'm about to talk about an experience I had at church today. In all my years of going to Church I have NEVER experienced such disgusting behaviour and I hope never to experience anything so distasteful again in my life. Although I have a feeling more episodes like this are heading my way. I'll explain a bit more.

I belong to a small branch at the end of a small country. Its location seems to attract all sorts of weirdos. We came up with a name for it today. We've decided to give our town a new slogan, instead of "City of water and light", we'll refer to it as "Vortex of Evil." We have one family in particular who don't seem to follow any of the doctrine or principles that they claim to believe in so wholeheartedly. They lie, cheat, commit fraud and claim to be able to do things that are completely contradictory to our beliefs. That being said, I am not sure why they are still allowed to be active members in our congregation. Under normal circumstances when people actually own their actions, or in other words, actually admit that they are complete phonies or just don't practice or believe anything the church stands for, they are free to choose to have their names removed or in theses peoples case, should usually be excommunicated.

I had been feeling a bit ill the past few days, cramps and stuff but felt I needed to go to church to be sustained to my new calling (sorry LDS lingo, can't be bothered explaining. It's nothing scary I promise.) I also am trying extra hard to partake of the sacrament weekly to renew the covenants I made with my Heavenly Father when I entered the waters of baptism. (Yeah, I'm pretty religious, who wudda thunk it!) I had been saying the past few days to my Husband that we were only going to church for the first part this week (sacrament). So that was the plan. We got dressed, made our way to church and the day started off pretty well but there was a very weird feeling inside I couldn't shake. I was completely happy throughout the passing and partaking of sacrament, which is really normal but in the middle of it I blurted out "we're leaving as soon as this is over". Now usually I make a really big effort, trust me, its big, church is 3 hours long for us and I have to battle 3 children for 1 hour and 1 child the other 2 and that is how our Sunday mornings usually go. It was really strange for me to be so adamant we needed to leave as soon as sacrament was done.

I now see why I felt we needed to leave. As soon as sacrament was over and the counsellour conducting took his seat, all hell was about to break loose. 4 eldest members of a family we have lately found out a lot of disturbing information about marched right up to the front and the Mother, who I tend to believe is the ringleader, stood up to 'bear her testimony'. She began her talk, yes it was a planned out talk, printed pages and everything, saying "The Spirit has compelled me to talk today and I want you to know that the things I am about to say may offend some people but it is only a small group of you who are to blame and it is the Spirit that is speaking not my mouth or my tongue..... the missionaries, I am very disappointed, we welcome you into our home..." All the while staring directly at me giving me the evils.

At this point I stood my family right up and walked out.
We all went home.
As much as I would have loved to have heard this psosiopaths rubbish from the pulpit, I know it wouldn't have done me any good and it especially wouldn't have done my children any good. If ANYONE ever goes to a church meeting like this, I suggest you leave. That is NOT what is meant to happen in church. It was NOT the spirit talking, I don't think the Spirit dwells anywhere near this woman or her family and I am appauled at her for even suggesting she was speaking nothing but through the Spirit. Ugh, this woman is a real piece of work.

Later on in the day a friend called and filled us in on a few more things. Friend said she went on to condemn the missionaries for spreading unfounded rumours and then condemned the rest of the branch. After a while our Branch President (like Bishop, Pastor, Minister) tapped her on the shoulder and asked her to take her seat, which is proper protocol when someone is blatently doing something unacceptable. She yelled at our Branch President "DON'T YOU TOUCH ME" and had was flanked by her pitbulls, her husband and another man with which she has this strange friendship relationship with. This man had also been giving my hubby the evils all morning. It all makes sense now. They all then proceeded to use standover tactics on our Branch Presidency so they were allowed to continue on pointing fingers at everyone but themselves. That is blatent apostacy right there. RIGHT THERE PEOPLE. Not sustaining your leaders and being sooo defiant is defnite grounds for discipline. (LDS lingo again). I just hope something gets done about this family. They have created a rift in our branch. Those that believe in all their bullcrap and those that don't. I definitely don't.

They used us, tried to make waves in mine and my hubbys relationship, told us lies, spread rumours about us, tried to control us but we were too strong for all of that and called them on it. We put up our barriers and never stepped an inch over them. Now we're under attack again. Some information got passed onto us and we did some more research. It turns out the information was just the beginning of a huge web of lies. From arson, mischief and filing false police reports to faking illnesses with their children to make money. These people are bonified crazies and now they're out to get us and the others that refuse to worship them. Its not that I'm scared of their standover tactics because the only people they're fooling with that sort of crap is themselves. I'm not at all intimidated by that sort of stuff. I was brought up like that, that was just the way life was until I met my hubby. What gives me the creeps is that this woman will stop at nothing. I just hate to think how far this woman is willing to go to prove her lies. Something needs to be done about this family. I wish I could add the links to this page so you can see what I'm talking about but I won't even use their name because these people have a way of finding all this information. I know this sounds pretty out there but it really is this freaky to have to go to church with these people. I'm glad I walked out today. I feel bad for those that didn't. Next week should be interesting.

Now onto brighter News.

I sold some more art! Yep, I made quite a bit this weekend. I'm very happy. I also sent in my registration for the exhibition in Auckland ANNND my favourite part, found out I have a fan! It's nice to feel appreciated.

The missionaries also did a service project at my house on Friday and helped me with the yard and helped paint my kitchen. Yay! I'm not normally one to ask for help but our yard is huge and hubby never has much free time so the extra hands were much appreciated. We're all having dinner together for Easter. That'll be great. Hubbys Grandparents should also be here on their road trip too. Woo hoo!

Last but not least. I have had some great workouts at the gym. Friday was probably the best. I got in there after a really long day thinking I wouldn't have much energy but surprised myself. I got in extra cardio - running, I might add and had to increase the weights I was using. I'm getting there! Today a friend I hadn't seen in a while also made a nice comment so thats always a bonus.

So even on one of my darker days, theres always at least 3 good things going on around me to brighten things up. When you add in that my children are intelligent, beautiful, funny and charming. I have the most wonderful husband in the world and a huge family that love me very much, I realise how good life really is to me. I still thank my Heavenly Father for all of this. I thank him for letting me be me. Goodnight everyone.

Oh my gosh

2007-03-27T19:54:00.000-07:00

I just realised that in order to have $3000 by July 31st we need to save $330 a fortnight. Woooooooo. I'm laughing on the inside but I still believe we can do this. Just watch!

Putting it all out there

2007-03-27T17:21:00.000-07:00

Here are the stats. For those of you that know me personally, don't act too shocked. Y'all already knew I was fat lol.

29th July 2006 --- 28 March 2007

Neck: 41cm --- Neck: 37cm

Chest: 119cm --- Chest: 99cm

Abs: 116cm --- Abs: 89cm

Waist: 128cm --- Waist: 93cm

Hips: 130.5cm --- Hips: 106cm

Thigh: 74cm --- Thigh: 58cm

Calf: 47cm --- Calf: 38cm

Bicep: 38cm --- Bicep: 35cm

Total weight loss to date = 17.7kg

Total in savings - $0

Life is Busy

2007-03-27T16:48:00.000-07:00

Everything seems to be happening at once right now. My son is now toilet trained apart from getting his #2's in the right place, he just started kindergarten, my daughter is enroled in primary school, the baby has gotten about 4 new teeth the past weeks, DH has had extra work and a lot of church responsibilities, I have been sick, sold art and am now working on some pieces for a fundraiser art exhibition being held at Rangitoto College in Auckland. DH's biological grandmother passed away, the woman we know as Gran and her husband are on a road trip and will be visiting us sometime soon and the phone has been ringing nonstop with phonecalls from family and of course the never ending cleaning that goes on every day. Today I'm ready for a break though. I actually watched some TV this morning. I never do that so it was quite relaxing. I had one of my boys on each knee and lots of cuddles. I should have more days like this. My boys are very cuddly. My daughter, not so much. She's an entertainer and is constantly on the move. The only time she's quiet is when she's getting creative. She's inherited the arty farty gene. I love all the little creations she brings home for me. Handbags, earrings, paintings, books, kites, bracelets etc. Its hard to select just a few to keep. She designs great things with blocks. Actually, pegs too. She really is creative.

Tonight is a gym night. I'm excited but feeling lazy. I've got my gym clothes in the dryer so thats always a good sign. Moneywise I think we're doing ok. I keep meaning to create a chart to monitor how we're going so i guess I'll do that tonight. I hate when I realise I've been procrastinating. It's a huge pet peeve of mine when I see something simple needs to be done and hasn't been done yet which then has a roll on effect and causes more drama than neccessary. I think its ridiculous, so theres my kick in the bum for today. GET THE CHART MADE! Every fortnight from now on I will type up how much money has been saved and how my weight loss is going. I need to get more serious about this or I'm not going to have anything to show for this blog!

It was the best of times, It was the worst of times.

2007-03-23T03:35:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd update this evening while I have some free time. Today was one of those days where the good and the bad weighed in the same at the end. I had a few episodes with my children acting up in every which way they could, my hubby (bless his heart) at his witts end after babysitting so I could work out (not because he had to babysit but because of the kiddos behaviour) and my lovable, huggable, car enthusiast 3 year old leaving a trail of poop through my house a few times for me to spend half the day on my hands and knees scrubbing.... not to mention the constant loads of washing. Ugh. The joys of motherhood. I'll be surprised if anyone comes back to read this blog between the tooth story and the poopies. I can't seem to find the contract where I signed up for such duties. Somebody smart must have shredded it and left no copies as soon as I was out of sight. Otherwise you can garuntee I'd be expecting a million dollar pay rise or quitting after today. I was totally at my limit, then just as I was going to give up my lil man turned and ran to the toilet and stayed dry the rest of the evening. This is how I know there's a God! He hears me crying on the inside. Honestly, some days I do wonder if I'm cut out for this. I must be at least slightly crazy to have had 3 children in 3 & 1/2 years and still wish for more. Oh well.

Now the good news. I have been singing my little heart out. Those songs I downloaded really helped keep my spirits lifted today. My children seem to like it when I sing...well mostly. My daughter sometimes has her moments where she gives me that "you're so not cool Mum" look and snaps "Don't sing!" Today however she enjoyed it. So the oldest 2 danced around while the baby crawled around putting everything he could in his mouth. I got to the gym and took along with me that new music and had the most kicka$$ workout ever! I was really disappointed the time flew by because I could have stayed all night. Usually I'm there till closing time getting my 'Me' time. Oh how I love my Me time... It is Friday however and if you scroll down a bit you'll see that Fridays are Americas Next top Model nights, so ever since this latest season began I've been leaving for the gym as soon as hubby gets home to make sure I don't miss anything. Today I did though. It was just a bit of the beginning and it all still made sense so nothing to worry about. I was late because I wanted to pick up a whiteboard to use for my daily workout goals. I have a 'before' shot and a 'get back to' shot pinned up on it as well as a couple of motivational quotes. It's cute. I like it. I would make it more girly but it's in my living room so people will probably see it when they're over. I figure this is where I spend the most time and it lets my friends and family know what I've got on so they can hassle me about getting my butt into gear or ask me questions which always keep me motivated. More good news. Another painting listed to sell and some more bids and people interested in my others. The best news though. ITS THE WEEKEND! Bring on some more music and cleaning supplies. Yes thats right, I'm excited to deep clean my house...with some help from hubby of course. It also means I get to workout in the morning. YAY! I love me some weekend living. Here's the motivational board. Clicking on it will enlarge the photo. Kinda freaky I used to look how I did! The 'get back to' photos aren't exactly great either but any decent photo of me seems to have disappeared??? Hmmmm. Oh well, this will do for now.

I'm sooo not old!

2007-03-22T16:56:00.000-07:00

So I've spent practically all morning downloading some new music to work out to...and just to listen to as background music when I'm cleaning at home. Well I've been doing that annnd cleaning up the disgusting mess that comes along with potty training a 3 year old that fights you every step of the way. I often wonder if I'm starting to be recognised 'an old person'. I feel young, look young but not young enough it seems. The generation gap is kicking in for me and its rearing its ugly face through my music. As I went through downloading songs I realised that all my 'favourite' songs are from the 90's or super early 2000's. Searching the web for ideas I kept getting all grossed out by the 'top ten hits' that were being recommended for your songlist. All I could think was, who listens to that crap? Then it hit me. The young peoplke listen to that crap! The young people that AREN'T me. Woah.... Talk about flashbacks. I instantly had memories of my parents saying "How can you even listen to that? Thats not music!" I'm starting to understand where they were coming from. Maybe my parents really weren't as crazy as I made them out to be.

So lets get down to things. Our car broke down the day before yesterday. Not exactly convenient. $180 later I'm relieved thats all it cost. Add to that the dental bill of $200 and you soon see that the money we had set aside for saving this fortnight won't really make much of an impact on anything. However, we're being positive right? Soooo some good news. Hubby is able to bring in some more pingas thanks to his contracting work and I have some artwork up for sale and people are actually bidding for them. Thats great news for both of us. It should more than replace the money we just lost. I haven't gotten to the gym this week for various reasons..sick with the tooth, the car broke down, shopping night so I'm pretty ecstatic to get there tonight and put my music to the test. I love to exercise but I've gotten so slack the past month. Baby steps...I will have that smokin bod! Watch this space.

I'm alive and ready to get back into things

2007-03-19T19:24:00.000-07:00

I missed out on any updates the past few days because I haven't been feeling the best. Turns out I needed a tooth pulled. It was the very back one on my top left side so thankfully no-one knows it's not there. I got it pulled Monday but the weird pain started late Thursday night. It disappeared and reappeared Friday night then managed to disappear altogether again. Saturday evening the pain found its way back so I said, come pay day I'm going to the dentist to get this sorted. Now that was big for me. Dental care isn't exactly affordable.

That is until Sunday came along. I had been taking coldelgin to help ease the pain as the regular paracetemol tablets hadn't been doing crap all. Then Sunday afternoon I managed to run out of coldegin and had to resort to double dosing the panadol. By night time I was pastey, shaking and still had intense pain from my head, through to my jaw and down my neck so I got out of bed, got dressed, jumped in the car and headed to the hospital. I went there because I just didn't think I could handle any more pain killers and was hoping they had someone on staff to help me out of this pain. Instead they told me unless I could provide them with a card that tells people I'm a brokea$$ (community services card) that all they were going to do was give me some tablets. Yes...they said that, well, maybe not as creatively as me but even after I told them I had already taken 16 pain killers in one day and could feel my heart palpitating and twitches happening in the back of my neck and my hands shaking uncontrollably, the wouldn't do anything.

So I did what any 22 year old emotionally & physically distraught, middle income earner mother of 3 would do. I cried. I didn't do it for sympathy but because in an instant my hopes of getting some professional care were crushed. All because I didn't have a stupid card! Then I asked for some tissues and composed myself while the nurses felt sorry for me and scooted about trying to make sure I got some 'really strong pain relief'. 5 minutes later after watching the end of Stepford Wives (the men were robots, no wonder life was perfect!:P) this doctor calls me in. Now usually I have no problem with the staff at this hospital but this guy was rude. Not only did he tell me I should have gone to a dentist (yeah, and would you mind telling me which dentist in southland is open at 9pm on a Sunday night?!) he then proceeded to hit the opposite side of my mouth to where I was telling him the pain was. Then after hitting 3 different places I pulled his hands off my mouth and told him exactly where the pain was. So what does he do? He smacks it with one of those stick-this-on-your-tongue-and-say-ahhh-things. And so the pain intensifies... He looks at me and say's "oh yeah, you'll need that taken out." OMG, you're a freakin genious buddy! Why didn't I think of that? He then turns to a cupboard and pulls out....pain relief. 5 tablets to be exact. Doesn't explain anything about the stuff and turns his back to me. I walk over and ask...will this stuff make me drowsy? He says "Oh yeah, don't drive and no alcohol". Thankfully I don't do either of the above on a regular basis anyway. I only drive in emergencies (hence driving to the hospital) and I haven't had a drink in years. I go home, take 3 more tablets and head to bed. I didn't sleep that night but the pain killers did start to kick in thankfully, so I got to lay in bed all night pain free which is just as good as sleep.

Only thing was, the next day when it came to wake up...I couldn't!
I was high as a kite. The world was spinning extra fast, I wanted to vomit everywhere. I couldn't keep my eyes open for long periods of time and even when I tried, they were just slints. My husband actually thought he'd make it to work on Monday lol. Well, for a second anyway. Then he saw my face when he told me he was off to have a shower and get ready for work. I have some pretty decent evil's. Especially when I'm high lol. He rang around dental clinics and got me booked in for later that afternoon. I was still high come time for my appointment. Sitting in the waiting room I could barely sit up. I could feel this old lady next to me staring but I really didn't care. I barely acknowledged my own children, why on earth would I look at her. My husband told me later on that it all looked pretty funny from where he was sitting. In the dentists chair he injected that stuff to make my gums numb and when he asked if it was working I just giggled. I explained that after taking 19 tablets the day/night before to get through the pain, he could do anything and I wouldn't feel it. He then asked why I didn't go to the hospital and was pretty upset when I explained to him that I DID. The whole experience has given me greater respect for my teeth though. I now figure that I don't care how much it will cost in the end, if I need some freakin dental care, I will get some. I DERSERVE some dental care!

Is it gross that I asked to see the tooth? Probably huh. Curiosity often gets the better of me. I went home and tried to sleep all the drugs off. That was yesterday. There are still some after effects but I'm pretty much back to normal. Just a hangover and a little bit of pain from where the tooth was pulled. I don't know how anyone could be addicted to painkillers. After that experience I don't even want to take my spirulina tablets! I had to force myself to eat & drink last night to try and flush some of the stuff out. It took all night to get the food down but it worked. The nausea has surpassed. Onward and upward from here, right. So back to exercise tonight, back to saving money and back to painting. Life is good.

The very first update.

2007-03-15T20:19:00.000-07:00

So last night I sat down with my darling hubby and sorted out the finances. This is something we do regularly and it never ceases to amaze me how month after month we find different ways to save money and not lose out on anything. Really, it does fascinate me. Each time I walk away thinking...where did the money come from? Why was that so easy? I don't quite know the answer but whatever it is that makes our budget fit around meeting our goals, I'm glad its there.

The conclusion we came to is that we need to raise $3000 in order to make all these goals possible. $3000 isn't much right? It really isn't but when you live on one income...and a very modest income at that, it can seem like a lot! So we have a few ideas on how to make a little extra.

I recently started selling my paintings. My walls are looking a little bare but its really given me a boost to think that there are actually people out there that like my stuff. It's also given me something to do with my day! I may have 3 little ones but really, I get pretty boared a lot of the time. I'm not the sort of Mum that gets into soap operas during the day and theres only so much housework I can do before I start to feel a little bit batty. I'm sure other parent's out there can relate. So my idea is to try to sell some more of my art work. I'll take half of the profit and reinvest it into my supplies and put the other half into our savings for Auckland. It should work out right??? Lets hope so. No no.. This WILL work. I managed to make a couple hundred dollars in one weekend, I'm sure I can do it again!

As for the weight loss. I rejoined the gym last night. My gosh was it good. It lets me get out of the house and have some alone time. Something I really don't get much of. I have no family or really close friends in Invercargill that I trust to look after my children so its always hubby or I with 1, 2 or 3 kiddies in tow. This makes a lot of people feel put out for some reason but our motto is family first and we don't just say it, we live it. If they can't handle the fact that we actually like and want to be with each other, that's their problem. I just don't feel comfortable handing my children over to strangers. Anyway...back to the gym. My body ached as soon as I finished stretching but I love the ache. I was a bit embarrassed on the inside because I had to lower the resistance and the weights because I hadn't been in about 2 months. It felt like I was starting all over again but if that were the case I'd be hiding in the corner sitting on the recumbant bike for an hour on the lowest resistance level because that was all I could do! Hey... everyone has to start somewhere right? Now I have muscles that you can see and feel (even if I do have a lot of fat still!) and my hubby is trying to keep up lol. I love that. We're true competitors the two of us. Each others greatest support but I know secretly we're trying to outdo each other in the most loving and caring way possible. I'll be going to the gym again soon. I'll try and be home for America's next top model. I love the haircutting episodes. I can't believe they cry. You have people analyzing your features and picking out the perfect cut for your height, body type and face and you cry about it?!?! Are you for real?! Please, someone slap them. I'll get back to painting after that. That's it for now. I'll try and figure out how to get some pictures of my art up...just in case you're curious.

Putting it to the test

2007-03-14T19:12:00.000-07:00

I'm creating this blogspot for one simple reason. To put positive thinking, the law of attraction...karma, whatever you want to call it, to the test. I have used this before for some smaller things in life but right now I'm feeling pretty desperate and want to see how far I can get from this down I feel I'm on. Every day and every week there will be simple updates on my financial and physical achievements. You see, I want it all. I want to have that smokin bod, I want to live a life where I don't have to worry about money, I want a happy marriage and clever, beautiful children. To some that sounds selfish but for me I choose to view it as a humble life. At times when things in life are sailing smoothly, thats when I feel I can offer more to others. If my life is on the up, I'm able to give more in everything I do. Whether that be at church, at home, in the business world or in my local community. I'm going to put positive thinking into action as well as the physical action part because of course there will be some work other than in the mind required. I just need to believe I can do it.

So here we go. I have three simple goals.

Number One: Raise $3000 for a family trip up and back down New Zealand, for my family and I by 31st July 2007.

Number Two: Fit into a NZ size 12 pair of jeans by December 14th 2007.

Number Three: Be in the position to buy a bigger house for my growing family (there are five of us for now) By the time we leave for our holiday in December 07.

So those are the goals. Now I have to work out a plan of action. I'll post that up later. Wish me luck! Oh by the way...I already had these goals planned and was slowly on my way but today decided to cut the time periods in half. Nothing like a self imposed challenge to bring the competitor in me out!